You know you're getting old...

When you have a game night with your fiance, your two brothers, your future brother in law, and your most likely future sister in law.
Lol.

Great part? I totally enjoyed it. :-) It's becoming quite fun. We play some sort of board game every once in a while. Seth cooked hamburgers and we had burgers and chips. So low-key. :-D I don't know what I'm going to do when Will can't come next year! Sad. And weird.

There really is no point to this post, I'm just bored and was tired of the Bee. I'm trying to look for places to have our "Mini-Moon" after the wedding and so far I'm striking out. I know I will find us something to do, but my brain is just not into it at the moment. Lol.

The Holidays

So, the holidays were a little bit different this year. With the absence of my Papa, that is to be expected. There were some brief sad moments, but mostly it was happy. I am so blessed to have the family that I still have, and I love them more than anything.

We also did what I'm now calling my "last big good deed" of the year. On Friday there was a lost dog that almost got hit by a car. Another lady and I stopped and tried to find her owners, but the only tag she had on was a rabies tag. Well, the vet's office was closed from last Thursday until today at 2 pm. She was a sweetheart and looked kind of like Chevy. I couldn't just leave her there to get hit by a car. She stayed one night at my Nanny's house before her b*tch neighbor complained. Then the next couple of nights she stayed at our house. She did fairly well, and by today she, Lucy & Chevy were buddies. I have a video of the three of them laying in the living room.

Once I got in contact with the vets office today, it was less than an hour before her owners called and set up a time to meet and get her back. :) Her name was Honey, and she was sweet as pie. I know that sounds cheesy, but she was. Apparently she was 9 years old. I just did it because...I would want someone to do that if Lucy or Chevy got out and were lost/in danger.

So that changed our holiday times, because we had that to deal with...and honestly? I don't regret it a bit. I didn't really WANT to focus on the holidays because I didn't want to fall apart. So instead I focused my emotional energy on her and on the dogs. It helped, I think. And now she is safe and sound with her family.

Other than that...Christmas was pretty amazing. Mom gave us money for our new tub! And Nanny gifted us (and the doggies) a fence! How blessed we really are. Now to find the time and energy to get those big ol' projects done. :-D I will definitely blog our DIY Home Improvement projects. We also got all kinds of other amazing gifts, ranging from gift cards and money, toilet paper and toiletries, and decorative platters and lamps. Oh, and chocolate and tools for Seth. :p Just an overall good Christmas.

No pictures as of yet, I'm sure most of them are gross anyway. Lol.

Our Timeline :-)

So I know it may seem rather ambitious, but I saw this idea on another blog. The couple posted their "couple timeline" that documented their milestones together, so far. This may take me a few days to get completely put together, but I wanted to go ahead and start it. :-)

Seth & Amelia's Timeline

2008

February - June: I graduate high school 6 months early and get a full-time job at a shipping company. Seth is working at Charter.

June - We meet at work. That's a story for another blog.

June 15, 2008: You may call it a random Sunday, Father's Day, the last race Dale, Jr won, Seth's 20th birthday (yep)...or our first date. :-) We went to Applebee's in Stockbridge. We were both nervous as all hell.

This is our first picture together, taken at my very first introduction to "Friday Night Drags." We were hot and sweaty...and look like babies!

June - August: We happily remain mostly in our "honeymoon stage" where we want to be together all the time and get in trouble for staying out too late or talking on the phone until 3 am when we both have to work the next day.

August - I leave for college at UWG.
August - March (09): We are long distance, visiting eachother fairly often (maybe twice a month?) and attempting to make it work from 2-ish hours apart.

December: I realize I want to marry this man. Here's part of why: Ava was brought home from China in December of 2008, so yes, technically I have known my fiance longer than my sister. He was SO good with her, so patient and sweet. And I remember this quote he said to me while I was playing with her at 3 am before she adjusted to US time, "You're going to make such a good Mom one day." Spoke to my heart.

2009

April: We officially move in together after Seth decides he wants to go back to school at WGTC. :-) This is us in our first apartment - a tiny loft, that we loved only because we were together.

Yep, it did look like that. Very few walls, only one ceiling. It was kind of cool, but you'll see what happened, just keep reading.

 June: We move unexpectedly down the hall, into a bigger apartment because our first one...had been pre-booked unbeknownst to us. So they said, "You can have another bigger one for the same rate." We said sure...not thinking about how this would affect our air conditioning issues.
We have our birthdays together that year 19 (me) and 21 (Seth.)

This was taken at "our" birthday party. :-) June 2009

June - September: We stay in the current apartment (apt number 2) but are getting overwhelmed by the power bills and broken AC unit issues. Summer in Georgia in a huge loft that faces the sun...with a broken AC? Hell. No joke. We decide to move into what we refer to as our "long-term apartment." Note: We stayed there for 2 years. So no, we didn't move ALLLLL the time. ;-)
September - After moving into our apartment (not a loft this time, it had carpet and two bathrooms and real rooms and such!) We decide we need some company, especially since our schedules were total opposites. I had school in the mornings/early afternoons and Seth was in school from 5-10 pm. Soooo, September, we bring home Lucy! Our first cuddlebug!

Isn't she just aaaaaahhhhdorable? It was love at first sight. Lucy is now 2.5 years old! Eek!

September - December: We adjust to life with a puppy, lol. Still schooling it up.
Mid-December: We decide Lucy needs a playmate! We think we're insane (we were) to try and take on having 2 puppies, but our hearts knew it was right. So, we went back to the same shelter we adopted Lucy from and brought home THIS lover-boy. :-) Chevy. Which yes, in case you were wondering, Seth did name.

Mr. Chevy, the day we brought his cute butt home. :-) He is now 2 years and some change! Jeez.

December 2009 - There is also a huge turning point in our relationship; Seth's grandfather Henry passes away after a tough battle on Christmas Day 2009. We really had to struggle at this point. We had been through a lot together but nothing of this magnitude. It was one of those "make it or break it" tests.
 
2010
 
January - June: The beginning of the year was pretty grueling. I had just begun truly working in my major, as had Seth. Seth quit his job during his grandfather's hospital stays, money was tight. But we somehow made it through those times, though if you ask me how I couldn't explain it.
March - We did go on one of the best trips we'd gone on at this point. We went to Savannah, GA, which meant we got to bring our puppies with us!
 

Here we are on River Street with our loves. :-) This is one of my favorite pictures.

June 2010: Our 2-year anniversary. For some reason this year it was a pretty big deal. I think we finally felt "official." Like a couple that meant business or something?
Randomly: 2010 was also "the year of trips" for us. We went to Savannah, seen above, for Spring Break. We went to Charleston, SC, in June with my Dad, Step-Mom, and brothers. And then in July we went to Disney/Universal Studios with my Mommy, Step-Dad, brothers, and sister. We truly were blessed to have such awesome family take us places! We love to travel - were just broke!
October: We went to our first wedding together. This, to me, might have been a pretty big turning point. We'd been together almost 2.5 years, had been living together for about 1.5 and had the future on the brain since we would both be finishing college in 2011.
November - December: Nothing really happened, per se, we just kept on keeping on. ;-)
 
2011
 
January: I started my very last semester of college - Oh my goodness! I was a Senior in the Psychology program. Stressed but happy. I did finish my 4-year degree in 3 years after all, so I was quite stressed.
March 12, 2011: We had been together EXACTLY 1000 days. We went to a park that we both loved walking the dogs at one seemingly random Saturday. We got to our favorite bridge and Seth pops out this GORGEOUS ring after talking about how much he cares about me, how he sees our future, and he goes, "So, will you?" I say, "Will I what?" He says, "Marry me?" I say, "Oh! Yeah, sure." I know...super romantic. ;-) So, after 1000 days (which btw is about 2 years and 9 months) We are engaged!!
 

Isn't she a stunner? LOVE my ring.

April: I'm stressed to the moon and back because this is my last month on college! Holy cow!
May 7: I graduate from college; my family and fiance(!) are there to celebrate with me. :-) I felt like the luckiest girl the whole day.

Yay - Lucky to be surrounded by these awesome people!

June: We have our 3-year anniversary, our 21st and 23rd birthdays, and prepare for a trip to the Lake with my family. And we begin to try and plan our wedding, finally. :-) We took engagement pictures and sent out Save the Dates this month. :-)
July: We go to the Lake, enjoy July 4th and our first time together on a boat (other than, ya know, a ferry) and overall just have a relaxing week. We go back and Seth starts to finish up HIS last quarter of college! I was so proud.
August: We realize that we won't be staying in good ol' Carrollton forever, so we start to search for our first HOUSE together. Yes, it's way different than apartment searches. I had made the decision to go to Grady, so we had that in mind. We also were location-snobs. Good proximity to family, good schools, nice neighborhood. Whaddya know? We found it!

Isn't it cute? 3 bedroom 2.5 bathroom Cape Cod style home on a little over a .5 acre lot. LOVE.

August 20: We moved into our fabulous home that we wouldn't have without the generosity and selflessness of my grandparents. <3 I am in love with our house.
September: I go to Grady for approximately 2.5 weeks before realizing...that isn't at all what I want to do with my life. Meanwhile, Seth is finishing his degree! He finishes his classes, but Graduation (the ceremony) isn't until January. He loves his job at Napa Autoparts.
November: I am iffy on November. November was huge in both hugely good and hugely bad ways. It started off not so great...I'm going to focus in on it because, well...it was huge.
November 1: My Papa had a massive heart attack and passed away. He was 80 years old and I miss him every day. I always will. And now, I hate that I can say I understand what Seth was going through.
November 17: Seth started his first "job with his degree" at Bellamy Strickland Chevrolet. He LOVES it and is so excited.
November 21: I had a Laparoscopic surgery that mainly says I have fertility issues and we need to try soon if we want babehs.
December: So far, so okay. Next stop: 2012 and getting married!!!

Most Powerful/Memorable Moments of My 2011

So a fellow 'Bee posted this link earlier today: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-most-powerful-photos-of-2011 . The photos range from incredibly sweet/amazing to incredibly disturbing and awful, but they do in fact sum up the year 2011 for our country. In particular, the one with the older lady that got pepper sprayed was absolutely AWFUL. I cannot even stand those.

However, reading that article and seeing those pictures sparked a good idea for me! I know 2011 isn't over yet (and maybe something else will happen this month?) But I want to do MY 2011. I'm sure I'll do a similar more specific post about how incredible 2011 has been for me nearer to New Years but I want to mimic the article but base it on MY life. My life has changed a lot since last year and whatever, I think it's a good idea. :) Obviously I don't have 45 different things but... Here you go.

The 5 Most Powerful Moments of My 2011 (in order from earliest this year to most recent).

1. March 12, 2011 - We got Engaged! At John Tanner State Park, with a gorgeous ring, on our "1000th day together."

2. May 7, 2011 - I graduated from college! I got my Undergraduate degree exactly one year earlier than others. :) *teehee* My BA in Psychology from University of West Georgia. Well-deserved, that one.

3. August 2011 - We got our first house!! Thanks to my absolutely amazing Nanny and Papa. XO. We love it and are so happy!

4. November 1, 2011 - I lost the most important man that helped raise me. My Papa was 80 years young when he passed away. I miss him every day; I still haven't really comprehended it.

5. I don't have a physical picture to show for this one, but my number 5 life-changer this year was my surgery on November 21, 2011. I found out many things that are not great but I found my faith in my choices.

THREE MONTHS!!!

We're getting married exactly THREE MONTHS FROM TODAY!!!! (Saturday) Can you believe it?! I am so excited and ready...also really nervous. Not about the wedding but about getting everything done! Lol.

So here is a wedding update - I haven't posted anything in quite a while!

We got our Invitations in the mail last week! They look really good. Parts of them are a little off the color I was going for, but the ribbon is perfect. Plus, most people will throw them away pretty quickly anyways. Haha. And I didn't pay a million dollars for them either! Got them off 123print.com. Me, Mom and Jackie (and probably Nanny) will be addressing them over Christmas break! Eeek! They'll be out in mid-January.

I also ordered my AMAZING bouquet from bluepetyl.com today. I am in LOVE with it, it's going to look so fantastic! And I can keep it forever! Maybe my future daughter (or daughter in law) will want to use it. <3

We went in Septemer and did our cake tasting with The Cake House & More and chose the most DELICIOUS flavor you can imagine - White Chocolate. Ooh my, my do I love it. We haven't sent them a finalized vision/picture but I'm working on it! Here is us tasting our cake (photo courtesy of Tabitha):

A few things have changed since I've updated but I am rather happy about the changes. :) Everything seemed to fall into place. Life always seems to.

Also - met with our caterer and there are some DELICIOUS things on the menu!! MmMmm. Really excited, as you can tell by the upbeat quality of this post. :) I'm smiling while writing it. haha. Love my life sometimes, so glad for the happy moods.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving this year I found it a bit harder to be overjoyed and thankful; I definitely had to work a LOT harder to feel thankful than in years past where my whole family was present and in good health.

Maybe I sound melo-dramatic, but the month of November has been pretty darn crappy! November 1st, my Papa passes away. November 21, I have surgery with life-changing results. My Nanny went to the hospital on November 22 (and had other episodes disbursed throughout the month) and I've just been feeling stressed lately. So yeah, it was harder to find that joy this year. I know you have to take the bad with the good, and that's what kept me going.

I know I am an incredibly lucky young woman. I have an AMAZING support system; I have the best mother, the best siblings, and the best fiance a girl could ask for. (Now I'm not saying everything is always peachy, lol). I have a great step-dad and the sweetest, most perfect Nanny in the universe. I have the two BEST and cutest doggies in the world (one of which is dreaming and running in her sleep, making cute noises right now). I have an INCREDIBLE home that we can call ours and grow into. I have everything anyone could need and lots of things that are just wants. I have my true close friends who are there for me through the hard times. And I have my integrity, my strong sense of self and purpose, and my morals/values.

I am very blessed and thankful, though I miss my Papa more than imaginable and I wish I didn't have certain things to deal with. But at the end of the day, I know God will never give me more than I can handle. I feel like I'm handling myself fairly well.

Inspiration

This is my inspiration post. For my bad days. I got most of them from a 'Bee post, I think a lot are originally from Pinterest. <3

Post-Surgery Update 2 - The details

So, here is what I know.

I have Endometriosis. I have PCOS. And I had some sort of scar tissue.

Now let me elaborate. Remember they told me I didn't have PCOS, that's why we were doing this surgery? To make sure it was Endo? Well. It was Endo. But it was also PCOS. Now, how could they miss it on the ultrasound and then find it during surgery? Easy. The cysts are INSIDE my ovaries, not on the outside. So they missed the PCOS before.

They found several "pockets" of Endometriosis - three of which Doc burned off (to the best of her ability) and one of which was removed for biopsy. Also, they did whatever to the scar tissue. The other Doc's "angry uterus" comment began to make sense when I was told that the Endo was mainly on the back side of my uterus and on the right side -- well that explains why I had pain on my right side more than my left. And the PCOS being inside the ovaries explains why I don't ovulate regularly (if at all?) and why everything is so wonky.

So, I've been explained for the most part. Now comes the "fun" part....making huge, possibly life-altering decisions. In essence, Doc told mom and Seth that "if the normal couple takes 10 months to conceive, your timeline would be more like 1.5 years." And she said if it did indeed take longer than a year, there would be room for medical (read: hormonal drug) intervention.

So we should be able to have babies, hopefully, though there is no guarantee and it will take us much longer than your average couple. I still have a hard time understanding accidental pregnancies because there are literally very few days of a month you can get pregnant! Insanity. And really, that's jealousy. I wish we could just be like "Oh we are pregnant!" Instead of charting, counting, tracking, planning like we will most likely have to. But again, I'm just jealous.

I started to do a tiny bit of follow up research (the first I've done since finding out for sure what I do/do not have) and it basically says the longer you wait, the faster your chances deterioriate. So that scares the living hell out of me.

We're not ready for a baby right this very second - though I have no doubt we could make it work and figure it out over the next 9-10 months if we needed to. Also...if it's really going to take that long to get pregnant, the earliest we'd theoretically have a baby would be 2014. (Assuming the factors were: we waited until March 3 to start trying and it took 1-1.5 years to get pregnant, plus the 9 months of pregnancy.) Then again, God works in mysterious ways, and we could have a baby as early as 2013. We've agreed pretty much that we want to at least be married before we actively try. That's what we've agreed on so far.... the rest is not determined. We shall see, folks.

All I know is...I will at least be 22 and Seth 24, more likely 23 and 25...and if it takes loner than planned 24 and 26, or older. This makes us think a lot about our career choices, school choices, life choices. And we still need to sit down and discuss...which we will, soon.

Post-Surgery Update 1

Well, the good news is I made it! The bad news is: OUCCCHHHHHH!! Urgh.

So here's my fairly detailed recap. Monday, 11/21/11 I had my surgery. I didn't sleep very much the night before - I slept maybe 5 hours. I woke up around 5:45 and took my second "hospital soap" shower that I was required to use. It's got a really awkward brush and smells kind of odd, but whatever. I got my glasses & contacts, packed a small bag, put on comfortable clothing and Seth and I left for the hospital.

We arrived at about 7:10 am and waited in the parking lot for my Mom. At 7:20 am we went inside. I was schedule to be there at 7:30. You know how I love to be early and all that. So we wait and then they call my name and my stomach drops to my feet (or rather...I get up and walk to the back, but really, I was screaming in my head.) The nurse has me go take a pregnancy test (ha) and then I go to the bathroom. I change into my ugly gray hospital gown that was huge and I take 2 Xanax and something else. I can't remember what. We do the whole temperature, blood pressure, sign papers and releases thing.

Then they try to start my IV and the fun begins! The first nurse tried my left forearm, and my left elbow area (?). The next one tried my right hand. Then they decide, ok we'll just let the anesthesia department do it. So I get wheeled up there...By the way, laying on a bed in an elevator is kind of freaky and a bit nauseating. I have my kiss my mom & Seth goodbye (and almost cry, though I don't think they saw) and am wheeled into a weird room. They argue about whether I am allergic to iodine or neosporing (Iodine people, it says so on one of my many colorful hospital bracelets) and then this mean nurse lady demands I take my contacts out even though I was told downstairs that they would be fine. She goes to get my contact case from Seth. Same lady also has the Dr in to check on a rash I had on my belly button (heat rash, I think, ew).

Then an anesthesiologist guy is going to try my IV. Remember, this is stick number 4. And this needle? Yeah. It's not small. It's almost as long as my pinky. So he tries my elbow on my left arm. No dice. The girl with him tries my left wrist (holy crap this one hurts, they warned me but damn! wrists are sensitive!) and again...nope. FINALLY, on try number SIX, they get it in my right wrist. Ouch! It really did hurt. But I was just glad it was finally freakin' working. I look like a pincushion.

So right after the IV drip starts working, crazy mean nurse lady demands I take my contacts out. Lady, my arms are sore. I've sorta been poked 954058943594 times and I'm starting to feel it and you want me to do WHAT?! I finally get my contacts out and shoot her a glare before they wheel me down the hall.

We get into the surgery room, I'm transferred over to the operating table, my arms are strapped down so I don't move/the needle doesn't come out. They put some things on my legs - that vibrate and massage, to help with blood flow, and then I'm told to take deep breaths from an oxygen mask thing. I do this......and then.......goodnight world.

----
I wake up two hours later with a sore throat, sore stomach, and goopy stuff in my eyes. I woke up at 11:11 - I'm so lucky. ;) ha. I kept trying to cough because of the stupid breathing tube and the nurse had to hold my stomach still so it didn't hurt too. That was great fun.

I vaguely remember seeing the Dr, she told me that she had removed some Endometriosis and there were other things she'd tell me at post-op. Also, I remember her saying she'd told Mom & Seth and she made a joke about men not remembering stuff. One of the guy surgeons said something about my "angry uterus" which made me go "Wth?" I later found out what that meant...I think. Lol. ***To be expanded upon later***

I was wheeled downstairs, given some ginger ale (thank you!!) and then I had to pee. Standing up? NOT FUN. I felt nauseated, my stomach hurt more than I though two incisions could and sitting down? Psh. The first couple of hours were pretty terrible.

The anesthesia wearing off also gave me the shakes. Ha. That's always good when you feel like you got hit by a bus, right? Lol. I'm being a bit dramatic on that part, but really, this is the worst pain I think I've ever felt in a concentrated area for sure. I slowly was wheeled out to the car (after Seth had to help me do EVERYTHING to dress - I just despise feeling helpless). I felt like I was going to throw up just riding in a wheelchair. We went by Mom's house and got my prescriptions and then came home. It literally took me probably 5 minutes to get up the stairs. But, I made it. I laid down ever-so-gracefully (hahaha) and then was out for, Oh, I don't know. The next several hours.

I woke up and was ready for some sustenance at around 8 or 9 pm. Seth made me some "Tokyo soup" and a grilled cheese. Yum. It was the perfect meal since I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. Went back to be around 11 pm and slept pretty much until 12 pm the following day (yesterday). Mom came to get me around 1:30. I still felt like crap, but "ok." Yesterday was not just a recovery day...it turned into an even worse day.

We found Nanny at her house, passed out on the floor. Her sugar had gotten down to 31 and she'd passed out face down in her kitchen. The oven was on. I had to call 911 (where I talked to the LEAST HELPFUL 911 DISPATCHER EVER IN THE WORLD) and then the paramedics got there and got her sort of stable. They took her to the hospital, ran some tests, made her eat and gave her something... and yeah. Mom had to drop me & Ava off at her house because I couldn't drive since, you know, I was 1 day post-surgery. Ava had to basically take care of me yesterday and she did a great job. Kept me covered in blankets, was fairly quiet. You know, pretty good.

I started hurting really badly at around 4:30/5:00 and had to take another of the strong pain pills because I'd over-exerted myself during the Nanny scare. I'm telling you guys...I was not in a good place. I was basically sitting there thinking how much the month of November has SUCKED for my family. I mean, could it have been any worse? I was like, No way am I about to lose my Nanny too. Not less than 3 weeks after my Papa. :'( And I felt useless because of my surgery. Which I know in all honesty I shouldn't - this surgery was necessary and I'm glad I had it (though I'm still in a blahhhhhhh place.)

So now that I've written ten THOUSAND pages for this, I'm going to stop. I'll update in a few JUST about the findings of my surgery so it doesn't get lost in this awfully long, crazy post.

Honestly? I'm angry at my body.

Gotta be honest here, I think I'm angry at my body right now. I don't know a better way to say it. My surgery on Monday is really weighing heavily on my mind, and while I am trying my hardest to approach this like I suspect a less anxious person would...that's hard! lol. My surgery is scheduled for Monday at 9:30 am. That's in less than 48 hours. Heck, that's closer to 24 hours away.

I'm nervous about the surgery itself - the anesthesia, the possible complications, the possible findings, the recovery. The whole concept is rather overwhelming. I don't like that so much of my future could possibly hinge on this one thing, or series of things. I don't like that our decisions on having/making a family could be changed so much based on what we find out on Monday. I also don't love that Seth & my Mom will know before me - is that crazy? Probably. I gave my Doc permission to tell them because otherwise I'd have to wait until freakin' December to find out. But I feel like I'll be anxious even when I'm knocked out from pain meds and anesthesia and xanax! haha. What a nutjob I can be sometimes. ;)

I don't think it helps that I've had this stupid bracelet on since Thursday (that I'm required to keep on until post-surgery) that is constantly reminding me that the deadline is quickly approaching. It doesn't help that Grad School is becoming an odd notion to me. It doesn't help that it's Thanksgiving week - the first one without my Papa. It doesn't help that I've got a diagnosed anxiety disorder. It doesn't help that I have been going from Baby Fever to completely putting the notion out of my head off and on for several weeks. WTH. And all of this compounds and now I'm angry at my stupid ladybits. I'm pissed at my ovaries/ladyparts/abdomen/etc/etc. I'm mad that I have something that doesn't REALLY have a name yet in my mind and it's only speculation. I'm mad that there are so many stupid possibilities and complications associated with this.

Why can't I just be normal, and only have to worry about NOT getting pregnant yet right now? Why can't I just go on with a normal period, normal sex-related everything. Why can't it just be easier? I know. Pity party of one right here. But what the hell, it's my blog and I need to say it. I need to express it, because it's the honest to God truth. I feel very angry. And why not express that? At least I'm trying to express in calmly and fairly rationally and without taking it out on others.

In other news - surgery sucks as a concept. And so does weird hospital soap.

AND - Zach is 15 today! What the hell. My baby brother is 15! He's going to be legally learning to drive. This time next year, he'll be 16. I feel so old! And I'm happy that he liked his presents and his birthday in general I think. :D Next time maybe Italian Ice will be open! :)

Anyways...hopefully I'll be back to update about stuff post-surgery. That was a morbid thought, but eh.

Crazy Week - Awesome Ending!

So this week was really insane adjusting to my new "role" I guess you could say. Basically, my role is that of caretaker for my Nanny during the day (plus still tutoring and watching Ava in the afternoons). Like I've said before about that...if anyone doesn't call this a "real" job they are INSANE. And are welcome to try it. ;) haha.

The week itself was pretty busy but d0-able. I'm really trying to figure out the best ways to work with Ava on her spelling - she is great at Math, but gets really frustrated with spelling words and sometimes reading. My Nanny gave me the best compliment - she kept telling me how GOOD I do with Ava. I needed to hear that, because I do get frustrated but I try not to let it show too much while we're working. I hope we can find some creative ways to work this out.

All in all, I enjoyed my week, though I was definitely ready for bed every night. There were some late days since Mom was out of town for two days, and those were the ones that I was ready to fall asleep within 2 minutes of getting in my PJs.

But the awesome ending to my week was this - last night was FCWC's Bunco for Boucher fundraiser/project! The project benefitted the family of a local (to Athens) soldier who lost his legs overseas. He's currently in a hospital up north (not going to say) and the money raised went to the family to use for plane tickets to see him over the holidays and for helping pay to renovate their house to be more wheelchair friendly and ready for him to come home! It was so great!

Not to mention, Bunco is actually pretty damn fun! haha. Seth and I were partners and we did pretty well! There were prizes for: Most Wins, Most Losses, Most Buncos, and Most Snake-Eyes. Zach got most Snake-Eyes! And won $20. And Nanny & Mom's team ALMOST got Most Buncos - it was a three-way tie between them and 2 other teams and all three teams have to "Bunc Off." <-- Yes, we all giggled at that phrase too. And they didn't win the prize. Boo. But they did really well! We had a pretty good turnout too. We ended up using 12 of the 18 tables we had set up (I think) and had more than that many people there. So I would guess around 60 people? Plus we made a lot on the Raffle sales, ticket sales, and donations for the family! Sweet right!

Happy Veterans Day yesterday - 11.11.11! And Happy Veterans Day to Michael Boucher!

I Miss You

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life, but actually Tuesday was harder. Yesterday just had more of a horrible finality to it. I hate funerals anyway, but in particular when the man we are there to honor is the best man I've ever met. When the man is the literal ONLY man that had been there for me my entire life. When the man we are honoring and remembering is my Papa.

My Papa, James R. Coody, had a massive heart attack on Tuesday morning. He was 80 years old. And while I know I was incredibly lucky to have had him around for 21.5 years of my life, I want him back. I can't remember much of my childhood that didn't have him in it. Never a holiday and rarely a major event. He kept our whole family grounded and I fear that role has now inadvertently passed to my Mom. She was already Super Woman, and now she's got to be the rock? Rock's cry too. 1.23.31-11.1.11. He would have liked that date. :) Maybe that's why God chose it for him.

I don't even know what to say or to write, I just know I had to get this out and typing is faster than writing. He would have laughed at that and called me lazy. :) He would have told me handwriting has gone to hell since computers...and he would have been right. Looking at things he wrote when he was younger, good grief was that fancy handwriting. Especially "for a guy" when you think of men's handwriting now.

We found a ton of amazing pictures that I'll scan into my computer at some point because well, I love them. And I love him. We found a picture from 1949 - a picture of him in the Navy. Several actually. They looked straight out of a vintage magazine or Pearl Harbor. It's kind of incredible looking at them and thinking "That's my Papa. Isn't he cool?"

We found Nanny & Papa's wedding pictures again. I love those. They are incredibly beautiful in their simplicity. 57 years of marriage. 57 years. I can only hope to be like that one day. And oddly, my hope is pretty real, because Seth reminds me a lot of my Papa. He already did before, but after how he handled me as I fell apart, I see it even more. Just let me cry and cry, nose running looking like I can't stop leaking. I don't know that I will any time soon. I have my moments. I can pretend composure, but it's fake. I learned from the best. ;)

The only times I ever saw my Papa cry was when HIS Mom (my great-grandma) passed away and once when he was so frustrated and feeling helpless about my Nanny. :( It's hard to watch a pillar of strength cry. It's even harder to watch a pillar of strength lie there lifeless in the ER or in a casket. But I did it. For my Nanny. She broke my heart, she really did. I haven't related the "whole story" yet, so I guess I could do that now. I got a call on Tuesday morning, around 8. It was my Mom. She told me to get ready and to head the Nanny's house or the hospital. I said I could be there in 20 mins and she said no, to go ahead a shower. I was confused, but I did it, rushing through the shower, barely drying my hair, and swiping on some obviously-not-needed makeup.

On the way there, Mark called and asked if I had left yet. I said yes. He told me that the ambulance was taking my Papa to the ER and they were performing CPR. Something about the bathroom, and to go straight there. My mom texted me that she and Nanny were in the family room (Mark was still on his way, as he'd been in PTC). I got the part of the story that he'd fallen in the bathroom. I didn't know yet that he'd had a massive heart attack and Nanny called 911. Or that they had been performing CPR to no avail.

I got to the hospital and they immediately took me to my family. My Nanny and Mommy were in tears - something rare and heartbreaking. About 1 minute before I'd gotten there, they had come in and told them that he hadn't made it. We all sat and cried and cried. I didn't know what to do. Then Mr. Tommy (one of my childhood friends' dad's) came in and asked if we wanted to see him. We did.

When we walked into that room, we lost it. We totally lost it. It was like floodgates had come open. It's not normal to see someone like that, it's just not. When my mom had to leave the room (her pastor was there) it was just me & Nanny in there and I will never, ever forget the anguish. She kept asking him what she was going to do without him, she kept telling him to come back. It was horrible. She looked so small and so frail, so lost. And after being married to someone so strong for 57 years, I imagine that she felt exactly that way. How you go from that to this new terrifying reality, I have no idea. Two words my Mom said that broke my heart..."Oh, Daddy." I will never forget these moments. I don't want to, because it proves how much we all loved him. It proves that it's not just me that feels so lost, as if it could ever be.

Later that day, after some family (his little sister Louise, niece Debra, and some others) came by, we went to get Zach from school. I hardly ever see Zach cry, and doubtless it will be a while before I witness it again. He cried when we first told him, he cried when he first saw Nanny (how could he not?) and he cried at the funeral. But other than that, my baby brother put his wall back up like he tends to do when he feels too strongly. You can't fault him for it, it's just his way of dealing.

Telling Will was probably the hardest. He feels SO much. He cried and cried and fell to the kitchen floor. I sat with him and let him cry on my shoulder. It's not as if I can control how much I cry. Well, maybe that's untrue. I had put on my brave face AFTER losing my mind and crying hard each day. I got it out once, and after that, only little bits were allowed to escape. I may sound insane, but again, that's my way of dealing. Will cried the most, I would guess, though I'm not sure. I won't compare it to me, because...I knew longer. I was there as everyone found out. And it opened that back up every time.

Little Ava has experienced so much in her short life that watching her cry is gut-wrenching as well. She can't even seem to control how much or how long she cries. :/ It's that child-related inability to control your sobs. I felt like a child at some points. Will said he felt like his childhood had died, and in a way that could be true for him. He is about to be 18 and has lost one of the strongest men he'll ever know. Zach was 18 days shy of 15. I was 21. And Ava was 7, almost 8. My Mommy was 42, almost 43 and Nanny was 77. And we'll never be the same.

Just watching the faces of my siblings crumple is enough to do me in with memory alone. Hearing my Nanny's words will haunt me forever. My mom trying to hold it together. The hugs. I felt like such a "damsel in distress" at some points, because I kept crying on people's shoulders. Mr. Tommy's at the hospital, Seth's at the house, Zach's at the visitation, Mom's at the visitation, Avery's at the visitation, and again Seth's at the visitation. Seth's the night before the funeral. That was probably the worst. That was when I realized he won't be at our wedding and he'll never meet his great-grandbabies. He loved kids SO MUCH. Anyone that knew him knew that. Melanie even talked about it at the funeral.

And of course, as we sat there during the funeral and I held Seth and Zach's hands, with tears streaming down our faces unchecked, Zach holding Will's hand. I don't think I've ever felt more peace. I felt at peace knowing that Papa was telling us to suck it up and quit the fuss; it made me smile. I do know he would have enjoyed having the military guys at his service. Since he was a Veteran, he had an American flag draped over the casket and the members from the Air Force folded it and saluted him, and presented the flag to my Nanny. He would have loved that. :) Thought it was so cool. It was; it was all for him.

I'm going to miss that man. More than I can imagine and more than I can explain. But I felt the need to get this written down so I don't forget it in my life, not that I think it will. I just don't want the small details to escape me. I should probably also note that I was annoyed with people. I know their intentions were the best, but the ones I haven't seen since I was "this small" or telling me I should "still be little" was honestly too much. I got angry almost, though it was really frustration. They were interrupting my grief process and expected me to smile and remember them and share stories. I didn't want that. I had more stories than any of those people (obviously this is not including family, but his distant, family, yes). I was just so sick of it. I didn't mind being hugged, I didn't mind it when people I KNEW knew who he was and who I was and who he was offered their condolences. I didn't mind, and even appreciated that. But when a ton of people kept saying 'You probably don't remember me, but...' I kind of wanted to say, "No I don't. And right now I don't care. Leave me alone." I refrained, but I know I was less than courteous sometimes. Particularly in the Fellowship Hall before the Funeral. Do people not understand that I want to be left alone? Do they not understand that the family wants some time alone? It was SO IRRITATING that my brother felt the need to escape or that I felt the need to ignore people and shut down. I wanted to cry. But I didn't feel like I could. I felt like all eyes were on us, scrutinizing us. I just wanted to scream GO AWAY! Leave her alone and leave us alone! But that would be rude wouldn't it. So I didn't. I just ignored most people, honestly. I sat there with my eyes closed. Most of these people didn't know my Papa as much as they knew my Nanny. He was probably ticked looking down on us. Maybe not, but I don't imagine he liked people getting all in his wife's face when she really just needed a moment alone. :/

And now I'm done, for now. I can't write anymore.

Direction Change

So, I'm not going to be an RT. I should have posted this like 2 weeks ago, but whatever. I withdrew from Grady's program. Not because it was hard, not because I was tired, but because it didn't fit me. Some people may have their own opinions on my decision (and to that, I don't give a rat's ass) but I know in my heart of hearts that my decisions are based on feeling and thought. More so feeling than anything else. I couldn't see myself being an RT, I couldn't picture that being me. I wasn't all that excited about the profession. And that's just not gonna cut it for me. I need more out of my future than to make X amount of dollars. I knew that from the get-go, but hey. At least I gave it a shot. At least I can say for sure it's not for me.

So here we are. I withdrew, I'm looking into working in my *true* passion (the one I ran scared from like a child even though it was my plan all through college) and I'm becoming a grown up. I have a job, babysitting/tutoring Ava and cleaning, and while some won't consider it a job...you do it and tell me it isn't. Then we'll have that discussion. For now, I'll enjoy the fact that I'm both making money and helping my baby sister at the same time. <3

I'm a bit pissy today, I'll admit that. Some people really aren't meeting my expectations. And I know it's stupid to have expectations of other people, but dammit I do. When I put X amount of time/effort/whatever into a relationship I DO expect the same back, and when that doesn't happen I DO get pissy and shut down. That's just me. I've never made that a secret, ever. I couldn't even if I wanted to, but, I don't want to. I wear my feelings and thoughts and emotions on my sleeve. C'est moi. So I'm disappointed and my feelings are hurt but I'll get over it. I always do.

On yet another random topic, it finally feels like we live here. Seth brought up the desk and we got all the boxes, books, file cabinet, etc into it's place and I'm about 85% finished putting everything together. Our garage is almost empty - yay! Other than things that are going to stay in there anyways. We have a few more boxes (like literally 4) and most of them are things that have to wait on other things...like office stuff or decorative stuff. He hung up the shelf over our bed and let me tell you - it makes our room feel like "ours" again. Now we just need to keep some matching sheets and linens on it and we'll REALLY be like big kids. ;) haha.

The dogs are settling in nicely but damn do I wish I had the extra cash to get them a fence! Urgh. I just want them to be able to play outside without a stupid leash attached to them. They would LOVE that. Seriously. We got them adorable Pumpkin costumes for Halloween! Lucy was chill with hers on but Chevy did NOT like the little hat. Haha. Pictures soon! I can't find it on my Picasa. Speaking of Halloween, we've decorated the front of our house and inside. Eek! We're having our first party in our new house! I'm so excited for certain people to see it and to hang out with certain others! :D Pictures for SURE of that! If only I could find my camera..... I'll get on that tomorrow, but I haven't used it since we moved!

On that note, it's late. I'm glad I updated, but I need to move onto the next stage in my day: sleep!

Lost

About 30 percent to 40 percent of women with endometriosis are infertile, making it one of the top three causes of female infertility. Dagger. To. My. Heart. Why did I even look this up? Why am I torturing myself like this?

Well, here's why. This morning, I got a call from my OB/GYN. They wanted to move my surgery up. It was originally planned for mid-December and now it is scheduled for mid-November. This made me have a minor panic in my brain. In case you've since forgotten, I was under the impression that I had PCOS. As it turns out, I only have it verrrry mildly. Not enough to cause the issues I've been having. After my last U/S the OB/GYN office called and said they suspect I maybe have endometriosis (symptoms match) and since it's not PCOS, this is the next logical thought. They then scheduled me for a laparoscopy. That's the surgery I'm now moving up a month.

Here's the thing. If I don't have Endo, then what the hell do I have? There are not that many fertility disorders and one has so far been sort of ruled out. I can't decide what would be better for my mental health. To have endo, and then deal with a known issue and figure it out from there...or to still be trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me after over a YEAR of actively attempting to figure it out and working with my Doctor.

I am honestly this close to breaking down and crying because it feels like my body hates me sometimes. I want to be a Mommy so badly that I even cried watching a Pampers commercial. Granted, it was one that really hit home, but still! I CRIED. No, we're not actively trying to have a child right this very second but I'll be honest. If I find out in a month that I for sure have Endo and that it will greatly decrease my chances to wait...then we will be having a series of discussions. I would feel so lost if I was told that and then we decided to wait until everything is perfect. I don't know what to do. :(

Sleep = Priority

I. Am. Exhausted.
My body is literally rebelling against my doing anything but sleeping at this point. By the way, yes, this is my "Grady is hardddddd" post. It's not that I'm having difficulty with the subjects (I got an A on my first test today!) but the schedule... It's no joke. Four hours of Clinicals, especially when you aren't working in just one area, exhaust your energy and kill you legs/feet. And brain, I might add.
I have had a lot of new experiences, and even feel like I am sort of getting the "hang of it" already, but .... pure exhaustion. I'm home an hour early today because of the aforementioned test. I finished it fairly quickly, so I got to leave at 3! Whoo-hoo. I'm probably going to take a nap soon, but I'm afraid if I do, that I won't sleep well tonight. And I have learned.... that is important. Sleep is becoming a priority in my (barely there) off time. I should just say, if I spend any of my off time with you, you are OBVIOUSLY quite important. Even if I'm half brain-dead throughout the experience. Lol.


I just want sleeeeeepppppp.

Oh, Grady.

Oh, Grady.
How you (or rather my schedule) tire me out so thoroughly.
Had an amazing day. It was the first day we *really* got to do anything and I saw SO MUCH that I may not see elsewhere.
Getting up at 5:30-5:45 am truly sucks...and will continue to suck... but holy cow and how much we did in Port today. I'm impressed/tired/excited/exhausted. Ha.
The worst part? Class. Going from busy clinicals to sitting in a classroom.
Anyways, just wanted to update, mostly to remind myself in a few years when I look back.
Today we were in Port, did about 8 patients, and they ranged from 5 weeks to probably over 70 years old.

Holy Crap at My Life! Sheesh.

Blog world....
Sometimes I think my life is a joke. As in, HAHA you are going to hate this right? Let's do that. ;)

I'm only sort of kidding and/or being sarcastic with that one. That sounds so cynical. I'm actually not in a bad mood right now just soooooo tireddddd and trieddddd. (Yes. Tired. Tried.)

Where to begin?

When I left off last, I was going in for my CPR certifications at Grady. Well, did that. I'm now CPR Certified, bitches. ;) But beyond that, this past Thursday (September 22) I think I started one of the best decisions I've made...on top of one of the hardest and most trying (hence the tired and tried, but not just this). I'm truly excited now that I have learned what we're going to do but HOLY CRAP (see title) this shit is going to be intense. What I'm saying is, don't expect frequent happy updates. I'll probably be updating more when I'm pissed or overwhelmed now. I'll be EFFING BUSY for the rest of the time. Lol.

Basically I will be at Grady Memorial Hospital (or the school hall, or an off-site clinical location) for the next two years, M-F, 8-4 ... and sometimes.... till 11 pm and sometimes... on the weekends. Crazy? Why yes. Awesome? Why yes. SUPER EFFING FUN AND INTERESTING SOUNDING? Uh, duh. Blog World...I get to do clinicals in all sorts of interesting locations over the next two years. I'm going to be vague so I can't get in trouble in case this is wrong, but the ER, OR (yes!) and alllllllll kinds of other Radiology-Related sites. And trust me, there are a lot. We rotate through about a bazillion. I'm ready to do it NOW!

I'm scared as f*** but I'm also ready to do this! I think this is going to be such a fun career and such an interesting career. I mean, working in a hospital in a fast-paced environment, how likely is it that I will be bored?? Lol. It's going to be insane. I will feel tired at times (okay, a lot of times) and I will become frustrated, sure. But that's just a lovely little process we call learning. You can't learn without commitment to get through the sleepiness or frustration to put things into perspective. So, this is really my disclaimer dear blog, that my rants and complaints to come later are coming from a very tired, frustrated, over-worked and over-tested girl. Not the girl (okay...woman...but I feel old that way) that is super duper excited to work in this field. K? ;) Now that we have that straight.

:)
Getting up at 5:38 am is brutal to those of us non-morning people. Driving an hour to school/work is also brutal. But... bring it on. I can do this.

I'm feeling very positive for whatever reason. I went with Mom and Ava to volunteer today and that usually puts me in a good mood. I'm tired as hell since I still haven't gotten much sleep and I dislike sweating, but it was super cool. We were at Ms Peg's Horse Farm and were helping with the Adoption department. :) Kids, man. And horses, doggies and kittens. Good day. We were all tired by the end, and sweaty and thirsty, but it's okay.

Volunteering reminds me a lot of why I dedicate myself to certain programs/things. I can't get a look at something I love and turn away from it. I just don't really have that in me as a person. I've been volunteering for soooo long but got away from it a bit in college. I'm super glad that I'm getting back into it and that I can do this with my (amazing) mommy. And even sister, this time! I think this also relates to Grady. I got my look at something I love (helping, cool stuff like emergencies) and now I'm dedicated. The only way I wouldn't do this would be for a health reason or personal emergency. Well, or financial emergency. That's entirely possible the way finances are going.

Moving Still Sucks --- and School's About to Start

So it's been like a million years since I updated. More like a month, but that's a million years in blog world. I do have a pretty good excuse - we just got a wireless router last night. :) We hadn't had one and just had the ethernet cable thing in the living room. It was rather awkward. To be online, basically you had to park it in front of the TV on the floor. Needless to say, I didn't do much as far as the internet. :)

Anyways, this has the potential to be a long-winded update since this month has been quite busy. I'll just start it around the time we moved. Moving was insane. It was sort of even what I would consider a nightmare. Lol. Let's start at the beginning of that story....
We closed on the house on a Tuesday. I believe it was August 16 (for future memory.) We closed on that day but we weren't able to move until the weekend because Seth had to work. I feel like all I did for days was pack and pack and pack, and yet still had last minute packing and odds and ends to take care of. I think that was a main point of my frustration. We had made several trips of boxes thinking that if we got the boxes done we would "only have furniture left" and could easily get that done.... See below for how THAT worked out. Lol. One day, I brought a load down by myself. Another day, Hannah and I brought another load of boxes and waited for the electricity guy, cable guy, and gas south guy. Another day, Seth and I brought two loads of stuff. Thank goodness we DID do that or it wouldn't have all fit in the moving truck!

We decided that it would be a best use of our rental truck time to rent the truck on the Friday afternoon, start moving stuff in, finish moving that night and unpack it either that night (when we were being optimistic) or (realistically) the next morning. I'd like to preface this with: Without the help of some amazing friends there is no way we would have been able to get moved.

So here's how this all went down. Before getting the U-Haul, I helped Hannah with a load of her stuff in the 'burban and Megan's van. Then we got the U-Haul while Hannah finished up packing in her room. Hannah, Megan and I finished moving Hannah's stuff. The last load we just loaded into Megan's van and then started on the icky part...moving the furniture. Eek. We got some of that done while we waited on Seth to get off work. After Seth got off work, he and James were ready to help. We spent HOURS sweating, cleaning, moving, packing. Just....it was really not fun. We were all pretty miserable by the end of it. Not what we had expected at all. By the time all of that was said and done it was almost midnight (0r maybe it was midnight?) I don't remember.

Me, Seth, Lucy & Chevy (who did so damn well while we were moving stuff out and on the ride here) got here around 2:30 or later in the morning. We unloaded the bare necessities and a mattress. We crashed for a little less than four hours. Luckily, on the trip of boxes with Hannah we had unpacked a few boxes - that made it feel less blah. So we slept until around 7:30 am and got back up (albeit with less energy than necessary). Shane and Heather got here around 9 I think (with Cokes! Sweet Lord thank you!) and helped us unpack the stuff we hadn't been able to unload with just Me & Seth. Without Shane to help, I know we wouldn't have been able to get some of our bulkier furniture upstairs because I would have been useless with the dressers. We barely got the U-Haul back on time and immediately went to meet my Dad to get the refrigerator.

It was a hell of a weekend, I'll just say that. Oh, did I mention we are stupidddd and had forgotten to get the water turned on? So throughout all this, we had no water for showering, washing our hands, the dog bowls, dishes, cooking... Lol. Yeah. We had the luxury of included water in our apartment and had never had to do it ourselves.... :p Oh well. We got it turned on (after even more of a debacle) on the Tuesday after we had moved in on Friday night/Saturday morning. :) That's a great memory. ;) ha. Luckily Alicia let us use her amazing shower on Saturday night so we at least smelled ok. And we brought huge gallon buckets of water from Seth's Dad over so we could flush the toilets and have water for the doggies. -_- We are so good. ;) hahaha.

So even after all the planning in the world...moving STILL sucks. I don't want to do it again - unless I have enough money to pay someone to do it for me. ;)

We still haven't even gotten the house to a state of what I would consider "moved in." We still have boxes to unpack and we still have our desk and other things in the garage. We're slowly but surely getting there. I just want to be mostly done by the time I start Grady next Thursday. Hopefully that works out. If not, oh well. It'll be Christmas before that happens then. ;) haha.

Speaking of Christmas, I had to schedule my laprascopic (sp?) surgery for December 19...with a recovery time of 5-7 days. Wtf. Merry Christmas. Lol. Oh well. I have no other times I can do it with this crap Grady schedule. But I just keep telling myself....do this, suck it up for 2 years, and the payoff will be worth it. Gotta stay motivated. $$$ :) :) :)

Speaking of Grady, I go tomorrow to finish my CPR certification. Also, I have to finish my online orientation and registration by this Friday. You can see how motivated I am because I am writing this blog instead of doing that. I'll get it done. I'm just in no rush. :/ Sad, huh. I am just kind of over school. It's just another thing to do at this point. I have my Bachelor's Degree and I'll get my RT Certification and maybe not ever go back. Or maybe I will. :) Lol. All I know is...get through these 2 years and figure it out from there.

By the way, blog world -- Less than 6 months until our wedding day!!! :) I wish it would hurry up and get here. I wanna wear my dress. ;)

Well, that's all for now. It'll probably be a while before I update again. Or maybe I'll update quite often now because I'll be procrastinating again. Oh school.

August is here! So is our HOUSE!

I am glad, because I am SO READY for fall and football! And not-97-degrees-everyday temperatures. I really, really, really, really (you get the picture) hate the heat. I despise it. I don't like to sweat just getting to my car or walking around outside. It's gross. End of that complaint though.

Speaking of that, we are going to be sweating our butts off either this week or next weekend because: WE'RE MOVING AND WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!! Closing should be some time this week, next week at the latest and we are super ecstatic! One of the things I hate though, is that my genuine happiness and excitement has been tampered by all of the stress that goes into running out of lease time and needing to know when closing is and whatnot. Of course, it's mostly a money issue, because if we have to stay here for a few extra days, it's almost $30 per day! Yikes!

So I've been planning for the best and have packed probably 75% of our stuff already. My goal was to do a little bit every single day so it wasn't as overwhelming. That didn't go *exactly* as I had planned, because I was gone for several days babysitting Ava, but still we have a minimum of 5 days left and I could be done packing tomorrow if I needed to be. :) Bought several really good totes for things that we can keep for storage which is super handy!

It's really weird. We've been in this very apartment for 2 whole years. When we moved in, we were 19 and 21. We brought both Lucy and Chevy home here. We got engaged while we were living here. I graduated college and Hannah graduated college while we were living here. So much has happened in this space or while we have lived here that it's sort of sad...but at the same time Oh My Goodness! No more noisy neighbors, at least not right next to us or right under us. No more screaming loud annoying kids running up and down the stairs screaming. No more PARKING LOTS! No more stairs just to get inside. No more lugging groceries up to our apartment - no, instead, we simply open our garage door and enter OUR KITCHEN! :) It's funny how you appreciate silly little things more once you've gotten used to certain settings. We will have a YARD for the puppies to run around in and explore. *Sigh* This is an amazing thing. I am super excited!! Now just to get it all worked out logistically and I will be able to breathe easy. Please, please, let us close by Friday!

By the way, our house that is cuter than ever. It's a two-story Cape Cod style with 3 beds/2.5 baths. On more than half an acre. :) *sigh* Love. Without further adieu......

Just Want To Win The Lottery...... Please?

So it's been a minute, yet again, since I updated my blog. Life is moving a bit faster right now and it hasn't really been a priority, oddly. I don't even know where to begin with my updating because it's been a while since I last updated. I'll just touch on the significant things that I remember.

As far as the wedding front goes, Jackie, Hannah, and I (and Seth) went bridesmaid dress shopping this past Saturday. Unfortunately, Elea couldn't make it because she was busy. We did find a dress that surprisingly we think will look good on everyone! My intended goal was to have everyone pick a dress in the same length and fabric, but with different tops if they wanted. However, Jackie and Hannah BOTH liked the same dress, and we think Elea will like it as well because it has straps - one of her things she wanted in her dress. :) We had a good time. We ended up changing the color though from Eggplant to Plum (in AA styles) because it matched the Tux Vest variety offered. Also, Jackie, Seth and I went to the mall afterwards and I bought my wedding shoes! They were on clearance for $24 and I was hoping to spend less than $30! Score!

In other news, Seth and I are losing our minds waiting in this horrible process called "Putting in an offer on a house." I am extremely lucky and blessed to have amazing grandparents that wanted to help us buy our first house. We found one that we all liked, in an area we all approved of, for an amazing price due to the shape the economy is currently in. We made an offer, they countered, we countered, and they made a final offer. We, so far, accepted. Just have to have the contract written up and an inspection done and voila! We may be homeowners! This is great and crazy and scary all at the same time. We are super excited and humbled by what may be happening, but we also realize we have more responsibility, particularly of the financial variety, when it comes to a house (property tax, homeowners insurance, etc). It's not that bad, but it's also a bit scary, since I am going to be spending the next three years in school and Seth hasn't graduated officially yet (though just a few more months for that one). We're also planning a wedding that we cannot afford and definitely won't be affording a honeymoon anytime soon. That kind of sucks, but hey, a house lasts longer for sure.

Speaking of school for the next three years, I've had a lot going on in the Grady front lately. I went yesterday and got fitted for my scrubs. It was kind of cool. :) I can't wait to get to wear the super cute ones! Also, I'm working on my online portion of becoming CPR certified so I can work in the hospital. Ordered books today too...ugh, I don't miss that expense at all. It seems to sort of be working out right now though... maybe I can find someone to carpool with me so I can save some gas money!

I'm just going to gloss over the saving money thing because money is seriously causing some sleepless nights for me right now. This isn't really "because" of the house thing. It's more because of the "broke thing." Lol. We are going to have significantly less bills than even if we rented due to the inflated prices of rent right now and how cheaply we are getting this house. Isn't that INSANE? It costs less to have a house. But at the same time, it doesn't matter when you have no money right? haha. I'm being a bit dry in my humor about this.... meh. "It is what it is" right Hannah?? Lol.

I've been babysitting Ava for the past few days. Actually, last Thursday and Friday and then Monday, Tuesday (today) and then Wednesday, part of Thursday, next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Whew. It's much like it's been before - somewhat overwhelming and makes me wonder lots of things.

Oh. Speaking of that. I got a call from my OB/GYN's office about my ultrasound I had to go have. I went in and thought everything went well because the cysts were smaller! However, I was experiencing more pain. Red flag. They think I also have endometriosis and I have to have the laparoscopic procedure done some time this year. GREAT, right? Double Whammy. If that doesn't make me scared that I can't have kids I don't know what would.

Moral of the stories: I just want to hit the lottery. Please?

AmeliaBedelia and the terrible, horrible, no good very bad day(s)

So I'm going to do an awesome update on our vacation when I get pictures and whatnot back - and when I'm not having a week like this one. I feel it would color my post badly. The point of this post, however, is clearly to vent and just get it outttt!

The past two days have been borderline terrible. I don't even know what's going on with my life or how to feel about half of what is going on. Good news is...no one died? I guess that's about it. Not trying to be insensitive but whatever, it's my blog. Lol.

Let me just breakdown the past THREE days (since day one of those is good!). We'll start off with Sunday, which was good. Seth and I woke up and bathed the doggies. We had gotten back Saturday night with them and they needed baths something fierce. We did that and then went out to get lunch...the place we were going was PACKED. The next choice was closed. Then we decided, screw it, let's go to Douglasville. We went to Douglasville and had a nice lunch and tried a drink that we may include in our wedding drinks. :) It had Peach Sangria. Ummm. So we did that, and during lunch we determined how many Save the Dates we are going to need to send out. :) Productive check number one.

Then we went to the Mall over there and went into Savvi Formalwear. Initially, Seth wanted to just have all the guys buy their suits. Then we saw Savvi was having a good deal and checked it out. He chose what he is going to wear (and it is quite sexy, if I do say so myself) and then we found the exact colors --- Eggplant and Kiwi! :) After that, we went and REGISTERED at our first store!! It was pretty fun. We were a bit confused and ADD because, well, we've never done that before. But it seemed to work out. We registered and BB&B and are excited! Then when we got home, we finished designing our Save the Dates and then I ordered them. :) I also talked to Tabitha about hairstyles and times for the wedding day! See how super Sunday was?

And then Monday happened.

Monday was a bitch. I am NOT a fan. It started to go really sour when we had some wedding budget bullshit come up and it spiraled from there. The wedding budget stuff sent me into a sort of angry panic regarding both that and bills in general. I tried to let it go and we went to Wal Mart for groceries and a gift for the wedding we're going to Saturday for Seth's boss' son. We got their gift off their registry, and we found cute favor boxes and bought them for our own wedding. Lol. Then we are grocery shopping, all is fine, and then... a can falls on my toe. It literally cut two of my toes and cracked my toenail. Seriously? And then, with a slightly peeved and grumpy attitude, we returned. Seth and I had a small tiff and got over it pretty quickly, mainly because at that point we were BOTH grumpy and wedding money stuff and then me because of my toe and him because of another external circumstance. It doesn't sound like that much, but that's only because I am not going into the details of what I'm calling "wedding budget woes." I'm going to take the high road and just keep that one to myself - just keep in mind, it's not good. It's ugly and frustrating and anger inducing. Lol.

Then I wake up this morning. I have a dentist appointment at 10:50 so I wake up at 8. Seth is already at work. I get ready and get in my car, all is fine so far... I get to I-20 and my tire pressure light turns on. For a normal car, this wouldn't be a big deal. For mine, considering how STUPID my back left tire has been, it was. By the time I really noticed, I was passing exits I wasn't comfortable pulling off on. So me and my anxiety traveled to the exit and I got to learn how to check my tire pressure and put more in. My tire is being a little bitch. We filled it up on SATURDAY to 40 and it was on 30 or 31 today. I filled it up, and I'm willing to bet it's at like 34 right now. I need a new tire. But for that...I need money. Ha!

So then I go to the dentist. I like the dentist, in general. I like my dental hygienist (Ms Cindy!) and I like my dentist (Dr Leonard!) but today I got some "meh" news. My gum is recessing on two of my teeth...that = a $20 toothbrush. Lol. Okay. Oh, and my veneer will need to be replaced soon. The one I had put on after my tooth broke when I was 8....... And of course, then my gums hurt.

Mom and Ava and I met for lunch at Tokyo. At this point, I found out that Hannah had found a helpful website called PetsMd.com. Lucy had been having some issues lately and the symptoms n the site = not good diagnoses. Her symptoms include a rash, darkening skin, itchiness, hardening of the stomach, lethargy, etc. I freaked out. Lucy is my babygirl. :/ Basically she's my oldest child. So I tell mom about this and almost cry at lunch. :/ Boo.

On top of that, the topic came up of Ava's Dr appointment yesterday. Found out that her muscles are very weak in her legs and she can't feel anything in her feet (temperature-wise, rocks in her shoe, stuff like that). It's scary. I'm not wanting to go into detail but it can affect her in many ways as she gets older, some including reproductive issues. And I, for one, know about reproductive issues and they SUCK to have. :/

So then some retail therapy was in order. Us girls went to LB (fav store) and we spent mom's coupons. $25 off coupons are the bomb. :) I got a new bra, new panties, and a bathing suit. :) That's a good part of my day - yay!

It starting pouring down rain (like, hail) as we're walking out. Of course. Wouldn't have expected anything less out of my week. ;) So I get soaked, which doesn't matter since I was wearing my hair curly anyway, because of yesterday. Ha! I'm merging onto I-20 in the rain and my car literally is STOPPED by the force of the rain and the giant puddle. It was freaky. It rained for a little while longer, sometimes putting people into "flasher mode" and other times not so much. Then it stopped...and I drove and cried because I was freaking about Lucy and Ava and stuff. Crying is good sometimes.

We had made an appointment for 4:30 for Lucy at our Vet's office. I got back here in the 3 o'clock hour. Hannah was going to go with me for moral support, but then Chevy the poor guy was freaking out. We felt like he was saying "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS LEAVING ME?!?!? WHAT DID I DOOOO?" So we made the executive decision that Hannah would come back and put the little guy at ease. Jeez. They have separation issues. Lol. (Luckily, right now they are adorable and sleeping back to back). So Hannah stayed with my little man and Lucy and I went off to the Vet's office.


We got there, and Lucy was doing her sleuthing/hound thing and was sniffing EVERYTHING in sight, which is always adorable to me. She tried to make friends with another dog but it was scared of her big ol' self. Speaking of which, Hannah and I guessed her weight. I guessed 63 and Hannah guessed 66. We were way off. Lucy only weighs 55. She's only gained 5 pounds since last December... Lol. Anyways. The vet examined her, she was a ham until the icky parts that she did not like. Overall, we were sent home with a week's supply of medicine to give her twice a day to treat a skin infection. The other factors may be minimized by these meds. We have another appointment for next Tuesday to see if it has worked and if everything is back to normal. If not, we will go from there and see.

Now that I've posted all of this, I feel better. I needed to get it out. Today and Yesterday were just stupid and I'm ready for tomorrow! PLEASE!

Major Update - Honeymoon, Babysitting, PCOS

So I already started this post once. :/ Boo. I hate it when that happens. Anyways, long story short I've been babysitting Ava for 5 of the past 7 days. It's pretty insane. Most energetic child EVER in the whole WORLD. I'm pretty convinced this is true, like legitimately. I've babysat a LOT of kids in my day and been around a lot more. I'm not saying she's the worst behaved (she certainly is not) but she is the most energetic and talkative.

That said, I'm not ready for children. I'm not ready for someone to rely on me 24/7/365. Not ready to give up sleeping in or not worrying or listening. Lol. Lazy? A little. But at least I'm honest. Lol. I need to use my early 20s to do lazy stuff and worry about me and Seth. haha. And not have to worry before we leave for our honeymoon (that we are working on planning!) haha. It's sort of exciting and overwhelming at the same time. It's only overwhelming because it costs money and we have to figure so much out. It's cool though! I'm ready for an amazing relaxing trip to a beautiful place I haven't been to before. :) I'm excited for Seth too! I'm probably more excited for him that for myself. We're thinking tropical, warm, and relaxing beach. :) Jamaica? Other Caribbean? Hawaii? We're going to talk to a travel agent about it and see if they can get us better prices or a better idea of what we want or need ... or can afford. Lol.

Oh, Will got home from his Europe trip last Tuesday night. For the record, he preferred Greece and Turkey to Italy. Italy is apparently one of those "only have to see it once" kind of places. He brought Ava this SUPER cute outfit that we call her "Jasmine outfit." See? Told you it was cute!


In other news, I had my annual today. Those are always so awkward and weird...and do not feel good at all. I brought up my ultrasound I had last year - official word is I only have 1 cyst that is "worthy of classification" basically. The rest are small. Here's the thing though....2 centimeters is pretty large considering the size of an ovary, I thought? But I guess not. There was some pain there when she pushed down on it and so, because of that, the past US, and the other symptoms I have, I'm scheduled for yet another gross ultrasound in two weeks. (Sorry, TMI a little). We have to see if my ovaries have developed more cysts or if they are fixing themselves on their own or what. If there is still a cyst or there are more, the Doc said "we would need to do something about it." I dk what that means, but it made me nervous and kind of wanted to cry, if I'm perfectly honest. And why shouldn't I be? It's my honest to blog (heh) feelings. I really wanted to say that phrase... lol. I'm really nervous and feel skeptical and uncomfortable with this. PCOS is stupid. It needs to go away.

On a happier note - vacation soon!!! :) So excited.

Seth's Birthday/Our Anniversary

So Wednesday was Seth's birthday and our Anniversary, as I wrote about earlier. Well, here is what we did. :)

Hannah went shopping with me for Seth's birthday present. Isn't it cool? I got a bucket and a popcorn bin thing to put the presents in. I got him lots of candy - Mike & Ike's, Snickers, Slim Jim, Orbit gum, a giant Hershey bar and some other candy that he likes. I got him one of those hilarious microphones for an inside joke ;) and got him a Dale Jr Transformer car. I got him The Hangover (since we just went and saw The Hangover II which was quite funny). I also found his FAVORITE drink and got him three bottles of it. :) And of course a card. Haha.

So after Seth got his (awesome) birthday present, we went out to Longhorn's for his birthday. We = me, Seth, Hannah and Seth's friend Jason Shirley. We had a lot of fun and laughs at dinner and Seth got his cake thingy. Sharee comped his "birthday meal," which was nice.

After that, the four of us came back to the apartment and did some birthday shots for Seth's bday, haha. It was fun night. Started to rain and storm, lol, it was fun/funny. I hope he had a good time. :)

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We decided to celebrate our anniversary the day after, on Thursday. He and I went out to Cracker Barrell (I know, not the most romantic). We had planned on going out for Japanese, but we were both craving Cracker Barrell. Haha. So that's where we went. :)