Buh.

Some interesting things were discussed today.
First of all, the idea of motherhood and the workplace.
I've read a book recently about how the old ideas of motherhood are slowly changing. SLOWLY. (A really very good book, called: this is not how I thought it would be; remodeling motherhood to get the lives we want today. It's by Kristin Maschka.)

Maschka says that basically there will be a struggle between the workplace and motherhood for some, if not most, women. I can definitely see myself falling into this category in a few years. I plan on being a mother - that is one of my biggest goals. I know it's not for everyone, but it's for me. The way I achieve this (through birth, adoption, etc) is up in the air for now, but I WILL be a mother. And I will have at least a Bachelors degree. I plan on also have my Masters in SLP.

So I have these two very different desires. To be a speech-language pathologist and to be a mother. It shouldn't be like this, but think of this. For a man, being a father and working are things that are EXPECTED. You occasionally hear "Stay at home Dad." But that is a very rare occasion.

So while I want to be mother, I worry for my ability to get a job when I am still in between. By in between I mean this: between the age of trying to conceive and by the time my children are school-age (4/5.) I don't feel lovely about daycares for young children either. Particularly not babies. I want to raise my baby; I don't want to pay thousands for someone else to do something that I truly WANT to do. But I also want to get back into the workforce. How do you do that? There is always the resume issue. Where WERE you for 6 years Mrs. M? Oh I was being a SAHM. And then I get written off when they think of my children having sick days and vacations, right? *le sigh*


Of course, we all as women have to experiment with the ideas and what we're comfortable with. What's my ultimate, perfect ideal? I'll tell you. But it probably won't happen just like this, as this is life. My ideal is this: I graduate in May 2011. Then I go to Grad school until May 2014. I get a job in the school system or a hospital for a few years, possibly while TTC. I either get pregnant or prepare for adoption proceedings. I have children around the age of 24-27. While I stay at home, I run a contracted version of SLP for specific clients to keep my hands in the business. I begin working at a school once my children are of an age to go to said school. And so on and so forth. But will that happen? Maybe not. Maybe so.

But why must it be this dilemma? I mean women still make less than men (bs) and get the job less when we are young (aka our "childbearing" years). I'm sure job turnover isn't perfect anyways. Who cares why?