Just gonna stand there And watch me burn

2 Corinthians 4:17 -- For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

A lot of things difficult have been surfacing over the past 24 hours. By that, I mean personal things that I'm not posting online. But, for my own reference, I just want to remember how much it hurt to hear some of the things I heard and to deal with these things like an adult. Do I always do what is best? No, I don't. But I try. I fail sometimes and that's OK, because I tried my hardest to deal with these things the best way I know how. I feel too much emotion. I hope that I never change that, but I have a sneaky feeling that one day I'll just turn it off. I think it will get to be too much and I will be fake and not feel as much. I don't want that, though maybe it is easier. I enjoy feeling. But...So far, 20 is pretty hard... When is 21? I could at least take the edge off with a good Margarita. Dammit birthday! BTW those two graphics at the top are PostSecret's that I liked recently. I love PostSecret.

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
--Love the way you lie, Rihanna and Eminem

And a small rant: I do NOT want to get married "just because everyone else does." It's not a damn competition. That is ridiculous. When else have you seen me do things just because others do? Hello, how many people decide they want to graduate college with a four year degree at 20?? Really. Come on.
I don't "tan" just because everyone else does. My hair is not bright blonde or dark brown as trends go, because I am me. While there is nothing wrong with either of those things, they just aren't for me. I'd look stupid tan and my hair is beautiful the color that it is. I just wish people would realize that I am ME. I want things that are common and some that are not. To date for 2.5 years is not a short period of time, especially with a 1.5 or more year engagement. It's just not. I can want what I want. I suppose that doesn't mean I'll get it. Oh well.

Fun Blog?

I'm bored. Nothing is happening until later. SO, I'm using my journal prompts that Hannah showed me and I'm going to write a lot about nothing. YAY!

The one I chose was "The most fun I’ve ever had." I don't think I can honestly answer this question, literally. I can't even begin to recall all the fun times I've had. But I'm going to narrow it down and do the most fun I've ever had with a specific person. The first thing that came to mind was when Seth and I were painting something. Here's the background. My Mom and Mark were in China to get Ava. Will and Zach must have been at Dad's. So Seth and I were "house sitting." It was my freshman year of college (December 2008) and I didn't want to be home by myself. haha.

So what we decided to do was paint something to surprise Mom and Ava. There is a stool that has been in our family since I was a wee little lass. hahaha. Don't know where that came from. Anyway, the stool was mine when I was little. It was white, my name was painted on it in pink, courtesy of my crafty mom. Well when the boys needed it, it was painted green for Will and Zach. So, in keeping with tradition, what we did is Seth and I painted it pretty pink and then painted Ava's name on it and painted cute little flowers and vines all over it. I can't wait for us to do that for our children one day! It turned into us being goofy and like painting each others faces and taking great (albeit weird) pictures. It was so much FUN! It was like being a kid again. We just laughed and laughed and danced and took pictures and that was it. We didn't make a huge mess, the stool turned out fine, and the pictures remind us of how much fun we had that day. The top picture is from that same week too, I believe. If not, it was very close in time. Blue = cotton candy.

Friday

So what did I do on my "relaxing" Friday with no school or other things to do? WELL, when Seth got up at 8:45 for work, I couldn't go back to sleep. :/ Sad day! Must be getting old. haha. So, here is the boring details of my day. :) I facebooked (is this a word?) for a few, did a little homework, did laundry, did some dishes (ew, not my fav) and then I went OCD Cleaner Lady. I basically bleached the bathroom. LOL. Seth got home from work and I had music on, cleaning the baseboards and had just finishing washing (yes, washing) the walls. I'd already mopped and cleaned the obvious counters, mirrors, tub, toilet, etc. I do this sometimes, and to be honest, it relaxes me. haha.

After that, I showered (because, well I hate smelling like bleach and cleaning product) and then watched Ace of Cakes. My shows come on tonight! Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings! :) I know I'm a wedding nut, but hey, supposedly I get to plan my own in the somewhat-near-future. :) I could totally be a wedding planner. I'm OCD and organized enough and definitely budget-conscious enough. HELLO. Perfect profession? Yes, except for the instability of the job. haha. So I also did this thing called an "inspiration board." It's kind of cute.

Grades= good! Money = bad..

Okay so this week has been mainly a week of good grades and worries! NOT related. haha. So last week I had a ton of mid-terms! SO here is the outcome, haha. We'll start with the worst. Terrorism Mid-Term: 79. Close enough to a B for me. lol. Considering it was on 10 chapters. Sexuality and Spirituality Paper: A-. Law and Society Mid-Term: 95!!!!!!!!! I was so super happy about that one, you have no idea! Just a minute of bragging on myself (haha) the class average was an 85.4! :D Let's see. Also some assignments for Corrections I got an A on.

OKay besides that. The on-going story of my college life = there is not enough money! I am so sick of my bank account, so sick of bills coming in as soon as the others get paid, so sick of WORRYING where the money will come from for them. It is so annoying! And honestly, I don't want to hear "that's life." I don't want to hear that "all adults deal with this." Wanna know why? Because I am not annoyed that there ARE bills, I'm annoyed that we don't have enough money to be comfortable paying them. FYI: Adults who make more than $30,000 a year should be fine with their bills if they are young and don't have kids etc. Since we don't have kids and I am unemployed (aka full-time student killing herself to get done at the age of 20) I just feel like this BETTER be the poorest I am in my life, because there really is nothing less to be unless it counts as "in debt up to your eyeballs and making money." Which, thank God I'm not. *knock on wood* But this is just crazy! I also hate the concept of RENT. I'd rather have a mortgage. Funny part? Mortgages are cheaper!!! Yes you do your own maintenance but hello, our maintenance guy comes like 4 times a year to replace a filter and that is it. Because we do the little things ourself anyway.

OKAY off my soap box. I am done bitching, I know it's annoying, but other than the whole F*ck Money thing... Life is pretty good I guess. My family is good, for my family. My dogs are good. My boyfriend is good and happy in his new job. I am making good grades, so it kind of pays back the stress. We live comfortably, when bills and money are not involved. So, I am okay. I know I am. But the emotional feeling of stress is just irritatingly unnecessary, or so it feels.

The end?
SO GLAD IT'S THE WEEKEND FOR ME!!!!! No Friday classes! :p

Happy Fall Y'all

Okay, here we go. My ACTUAL blog for today! haha.
Yesterday was Hannah's 23rd birthday. :) We went to O'Charley's for dinner (we = Hannah, Me, Shelby, Megan, AJ, Julie & Justin). Seth had to work. :/ I got her this cute journal & photo album and my Dad got her some Krispy Kreme's! Yummm. So we did dinner, and then we went and goofed off at Books A Million. ha. That is where I found that awesome apron. It says "Queen of Everything." It was SO cute! I wish I could just buy everything I wanted. Life, man. Then we went to Target because Hannah's heels were killer and she needed some shorts to wear under her dress for bowling. haha. I didn't go bowling with them for these reasons: 1. I suck at it. 2. I'm poor. 3. I don't like driving/getting home after midnight. haha. BUT it looked like they had fun! I hope you had a great birthday Hannah! :)


Today, October 2, is my Nanny and Papa's 56th wedding anniversary. :) How adorable is that? 56 years ago today, they got married in a church in England. That picture when you scroll down. :) I long for a life like that.

Here is the main point of my blog: THE WEATHER IS CHANGING FINALLY!!!! :) This is probably my favorite season - who am I kidding, it IS my favorite. I love the cool weather and pretty changing leaves and Halloween. It's just so pretty. :) I also love sweaters. hahah. And after this ridiculously hot summer, I am so into this weather cooling off. SO... like the cute picture above says: Happy Fall Y'all! :D

Hannah's BDay Pics

Happy Birthday Hannah! :)

MUSEUMS

This picture is of the High Museum of Art. It'll be relevant later.


Okay, first I'm going to do an "update." I realize it's been over a week, and this past week has pretty much SUCKEDDDD. Here is a brief update. Monday I "worked" my research practicum. I don't really like it, but it's something to do and I get to put it on my resume.... I mean, the time it takes isn't the problem, it's just kind of frustrating! You can call 100's of people in a day and 85% won't answer, then 10% will be rude and/or hang up, and then that 5% will actually participate. JERKS. lol
Tuesday I had something, I can't remember. Wednesday I had my Terrorism Mid-Term. I feel pretty okay about that one. Then I had a CP short paper to do for Thursday. Also on Thursday I got back my Sexuality & Spirituality paper that I did on the movie Trembling Before G-d, and I got an A! :) Happy. I also had my Law & Society Mid-Term that day too. It was like "here are 6 essay questions, write 3." SO... I did. My first two were good, my last one kind of fell apart. lol.
Now FRIDAY was good/interesting. It's going to be the picture part of this blog.
Dad and I went to The High Museum in Atlanta. I hadn't been there since I was a kid. We went to see the Salvador Dali exhibit........ If you don't know who Salvador Dali is, you might remember his mustache. LOL