Let's start out with the fact that it's now February! I'm so glad. Getting closer and closer to the things I'm looking forward to this year. I know that sounds strange and "not living in the moment" but I have come to terms with the fact that I live a lot through my future. It's just a personality trait; one that I am learning to own. I know there are all sorts of quotes "live for the day" but to be honest, a lot of times my day is not interesting or challenging enough for my mind that never shuts off. It can be majorly overwhelming and make me feel like I'm highly misunderstood.
I think I have blogged about this before, the fact that my brain doesn't willingly shut off? Ever? lol. Seth and I have talked about this before because he has the ability to LITERALLY not be thinking about anything. At all. Seriously, nothing. For a long time I didn't even BELIEVE him because I had no idea that was even possible. (LOL) My brain is constantly going. Whether it is technical stuff, school-related stuff, theories, plans, hopes, dreams, thoughts. SOMETHING is always going on. And seriously, even when I'm sleeping. Because we all dream, every night, even if we don't remember. :) Thanks Dr. Kunkel for that tidbit.
This concept is really entertaining to me at present - I think it is why I am so easily stressed and anxious. Because I don't have an "off" switch. I can CHANGE what I'm thinking about, but I can't not think. I just can't. When I try to...I get distracted. haha. This idea is sort of a new exploration for me, but I'm thinking that to embrace this fact of myself I need to be more honest about it. I literally am always thinking. I think that's why I love the 'Bee. It offers new and different questions and circumstances for me to contemplate and sometimes offer advice on. I LOVE to feel useful. When someone says "THANKS that's a great idea" it's a huge compliment to my ever-so-dainty ego. (Or should I say....Id? Superego?)
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Break: Of course I couldn't focus on that for too long; I got distracted by my thoughts. I wanted to start being more literal, so guess what? Since it's my blog I think I'll do just that. haha. This week has FLOWN by and I am honestly so glad. I don't love school right now - it's dry and pretty boring for the most part. I like a couple of my classes, a couple of my professors, and only one of those overlaps. haha. I am also bored. I'm bored with my routine. College is getting old. Grad School (eek!) better be a much different routine. And please God, can I have a JOB that pays WELL in Grad School? I'd love that. More to do and not so much selfishness! Because my inner thoughts are inadvertently very selfish...Adurrrrr.... Our favorite subjects are ourselves. :)
I think that's all I have to say right now?
Here's something pretty to look at:
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