Parenting Young

Parenting at a young age -- the topic is one that interests me on a personal level, but also as a former Psychology major. Seth and I have been talking about our TTC plans and to be quite honest, I'm pretty confident in our abilities to parent now. I doubt them on a bad day and I question that, but I think most reasonable and responsible people thoroughly think big decisions through (as much as possible, depending on the circumstance).

I stumbled across a blog called "early mama: redefining the young mom" and it piqued my interest. One of the articles, defending young parenthood in a mature way, really got my attention. Young parenthood is not for everyone by any means! I can't see a lot of my friends being ready to parent just yet, but I'll say this. Most of the ones I know that DO parent now are fantastic at it. Sure, all have made certain sacrifices depending on when they got pregnant and how they dealt with it in their life, but very few of my "friends" on Facebook even are extremely irresponsible and meet that "stereotype" of the young mother. Granted, I deleted some of those when I realized that that was indeed what they were.

Anyway, one of the points the blogger made was that SOME of us actually have a decent idea of how our lives would play out if we chose to have kids. Obviously the best example to use would be myself -- it is my blog after all. ;-) It was nice to be able to type this out and have it make sense.

Example -
Longevity/Stability of Relationship: Seth and I are married, and have been for over six months, putting us at a minimum at 1 year and 2-ish months married at baby's birth. We have been together for 4.5 years, again the minimum would be 5 years and some change at birth. Do I think we know everything about each other? Of course not. That would be boring, honestly. Some major things I imagine come out during the parenting process as well. But we're in it for the long-haul or else wasting our time. ETA on 3/3/13: Make that at least 1 year and 9 months...and 5.5 years.

But let's continue...
Education: Seth and I both have college degrees. I'm planning on getting my Masters, which I will begin in January. IF we got pregnant immediately/soon, it would be summertime when I had a child. I'd also be about 1/3 of the way through my Masters. Seth is working on another higher degree as well; his is online. ETA on 3/3/13: I'm almost finished with my first semester of my Masters. *If* we got pregnant NOW, it would be December and I would only have student teaching left to complete in 2014.

Finances/Jobs: We both have jobs. Seth has a full-time job in his chosen career (yay!) and is expecting a raise soon (double yay!) I work two part-time jobs, though not in my "career" exactly. However, this works to my advantage. The two jobs I have would be well-suited to parenting and finishing a Masters. One of my jobs is 80% work-from-home and the other is one where bringing a baby along would be perfectly acceptable (as it has to do with my own family.) The only time I would need childcare would be during the few days per month I would go in for my WFH job (maybe one to two mornings a week month, max) and during class time. I think Seth's schedule in combination with a good babysitter would be fine. It would probably be less than or around 10 hours per week and some of it would be covered by Seth. Minimal costs, here. For the sake of the example, say we paid the babysitter $10 per hour and it was 7 hours per week. $70 per week. Not bad. ETA on 3/3/13: He got that raise and may be getting another (better) job. I have 4 jobs right now, all of which would be fine for bringing a baby along if necessary. The only times it wouldn't would be during internship hours. My student teaching is FT but if I got a real teaching position, I'd be salaried and have benefits. :) I also had a job interview for a salaried job with benefits on Friday.

Home Life: We own our own home. We have enough bedrooms (3), bathrooms (2.5), square footage (around 1700), etc. We both now have vehicles suitable for car seats and babies, as Seth has a four-door truck and I have a four-door sedan. We live in an established community with nice neighbors and low crime - and a pool for when baby is ready for that. We live within a decent distance of all of our parents. By the time our child would be in school, I would have a job in Education and they could go to school with me. ETA on 3/3/13: Same. :) Just closer to that job in Education.

Miscellaneous: I don't feel like our siblings would be way too young to be Aunts/Uncles anymore. Yes, Ava would be exceptionally young as far as it all goes, but what else is to be expected when there is a 14 year age gap between siblings? Just because I like numbers, if we were to get pregnant in the next few months: Shane - 22, Will - 19, Zach - 16, Jenn - 14, Ava - 9. If it took the traditional year to get pregnant, we're talking: 23, 20, 17, 15 and 10. Also, I'm not a "partier." I like the occasional drink with friends, but it's extremely rare. I literally think the last time I drank anything was maybe in July? The last time I drank enough for it to affect me was Halloween of last year. Yeah, I'm a big partier. Not. I'm perfectly content being a bit of a homebody. I'm a bit of a homebody as it is! Oh, and just because I like that numbers game, the ages of our child's grandparents if we got pregnant within the next few months (basing this on August 2013) would be 44, 50, 50, 53, 54, 59. That's including my steps. And, God willing, great grandparents would be 76-ish and 78/79. Not bad, eh? ETA on 3/3/13: They'd be: Shane - 23, Will - 19, Zach - 17, Jenn - 14/15, Ava - 9.

But back to the blog I was reading. I want to just paste the ending of one of her (awesome) posts for later.
"How long until we recognize that fertility is something to value, not something to put on layaway? That sometimes nature knows what it’s doing?
Listen, I think there certainly are 40+ women who are biologically able to produce healthy and happy children, as well as be phenomenal parents. My aunt and a friend of mine both fall into this category (after “oops” pregnancies, not IVF) and I couldn’t imagine their children not existing. But it’s the trend of delayed parenting becoming the norm (fueled by society’s misconceptions about motherhood and younger women) that I find unsettling.
If becoming a parent is important to you, then know that there is an expiration date — as unfair as that seems. And coming from a younger mom, an ambitious woman, I’m just as professionally and personally fulfilled as I’ve ever dreamed to be."

Amen, Michelle.

We shall see if we're ready to jump into this TTC thing full-force or if we'll keep it relaxed like we have been. Either way, I'm ready to be a mom.