So I found a project that I did in December of 2008. It was for a class called Personal Relationships (a low-level Psychology class.) It was interesting to find it again, especially as tomorrow is my Papa's birthday. He would have been 81.
I wanted to share what I wrote, but I didn't want to photo copy it on here.
The first page has pictures of me and my "am-mama."
Loss of a Loved One
I hadn't lost anyone close to me since my Grandma in 1994.
I wrote, "I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon."
Next:
Loss of my belief in Happily Ever After.
"I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it's place."
Complete with a picture of me in my dress-up wedding dress. :-)
Loss of Optimism
"I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't."
Loss of my ability to Trust Unconditionally.
"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that forgiving takes practice."
Complete with pictures of me and my Dad when I was little.
Loss of Childhood Naivete.
"I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different."
Loss of my belief in Santa Claus. (on a lighter note, Lol)
"I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score."
Loss of Childhood
"I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be."
There is an eerie picture of a past birthday party, with empty table. Almost as if those of us there CHOSE to leave.
Loss of my Musical Ability ;-) (again, lighter)
"Those who wish to sing, always find a song." -- Swedish Proverb
My note that says, How to get through them all:
Our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Corinthians 4:17.
Finally, "I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they DO about it."
After finding it today, I've started adding to it.
Loss of Stability/Loss of the Only Man to ALWAYS Be There.
These cherished memories that you hold will never be lost, for what you carry in your heart is yours to keep forever. <3
Also added:
Loss of Faith in things "Always Working Out."
Surgery 11.21.11. PCOS/Endo.
Still a work in progress.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
I feel human! And HAPPY!
Can I just say how thankful I am for my life and the people in it? I don't want to go all mushy, but we'll see where my writing leads me today.
Seth and I had a really good day today. We truly took the time to enjoy eachother's company and did things each of us like. We did some things he liked (went to Summitt) some things I liked (looked at LB) and some things we both like (History Channel! lol). I forget sometimes that we DO have things in common because we have such differing tastes and preferences on the base scale.
A good example of this would be his love and obsession with cars. I do not share it. I think cars are nice, I think some cars are awesome, but I do not feel the need to know what a Cam is or what bearings are or know WHY. He does. On a similar note, I enjoy reading just as much as he enjoys cars. It isn't as obvious or in-your-face as his car obsession, but it's true to those that know me. He doesn't like books or even understand that you don't interrupt when I'm in the middle of a juicy Janet Evanovich. He IS starting to notice my favorite authors though. ;-) But see, here is what I am getting at. THERE ARE things we both enjoy.
Things we both enjoy:
1. Board Games of ANY variety. Not joking here at all.
2. History Channel, National Geographic, Planet Earth, GPB - anything exploratory really. We're obsessed. We joked that if we got a DVR it would be full of GPB and History Channel and we'd just watch for hours.
3. Doggies! We don't always agree on how to "parent," but we love them to pieces.
4. Getting things done - we both enjoy finishing home projects like organizing the garage last weekend.
5. Food - I know, I know. We're fatties. But we do both enjoy a good meal.
6. Jokes - We both laugh at the dumbest things sometimes. :-)
7. Criminal/Crime shows - Law & Order CI or SVU in particular. Also, we're both excited for Alcatraz to come on tomorrow night.
8. Sleeping. We are both big fans of sleep. Does that count? I guess it does.
9. Music, in general. Sure he listens to his a lot louder than I do and he is a little more rock, while I'm a little more country...but we both LIKE it. If we could just get the volume on the right setting....... ;-)
Now I don't want to go on and on about things we both enjoy or don't enjoy, but I just wanted this to be here to remind myself that we DO have some common interests. More than we tend to remember when we are frustrated with eachother.
Funny thing I wanted to note: We were having this big discussion since, you know, we're getting married in 47 DAYS!!!! We were talking about the future and he said, "You know, I could never hate you. Even if we end up divorced, I know you too well to hate you." It made me smile. I feel the same way. We can be angry at eachother but I think we would cool down pretty quickly, even if God forbid we ended up in that situation. We have a base respect for one another that neither of us always remember, but it's there.
------
On a similar note, I am super happy with where everything is in my life. It isn't perfect, not even close, but I'm happy with my non-dramatic and actually quite amazing friendships and I'm actually happy with my job and with what I want to do with my life. Which by the way, blog, I think I have finally decided upon! I'll save that for another day.
Jackie and I had a long discussion today and basically came to the conclusion that we are two of the only sane women in relationships in our circle. Not really, but it feels that way sometimes with some of our friends. We both handle our relationships pretty similarly (call it a no-holds-barred approach, or just call it honesty, that's what it is.) We agree on how to handle a lot of things and don't see how others just don't GET it. We should honestly be couples counselors. If only people would LISTEN! ;-)
Also? I love that me, Jackie and Heather are all obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio/Titanic. <3 As we should be. The man is beautiful and talented. TITANIC 3D in April!!! When Jackie gets back from an AMAZING trip to England!
Speaking of amazing things.... you know, I know myself as someone with jealous tendencies in a lot of cases. However, I've never been so unconditionally happy for two people/situations in my life right now. I am SO happy and excited for Jackie going to England! It is an incredible opportunity for her and an amazing trip! I also love that I don't find myself being envious or jealous, just HAPPY and excited! I think I'm finally getting out of my funk! haha. Also I am so happy for Catherine's pregnancy! (She isn't announcing yet, I don't think, so I won't say which Catherine.) I think they both deserve these things so much! The second one may be particularly odd given my "fertility status," but honestly I was grinning from ear-to-ear when she told me. I even shocked myself with that reaction. It's sad I know, but I have been/am jealous of some other people's pregnancies...especially if they weren't trying. But I feel like it's only human when you want something so badly and on such a base level. I'm happy with that. I'm happy that I still have the capacity to be happy when others get babies. It makes me feel content and human again. <3
That's all for now, blog. Sorry I've neglected you so this year. Trust me, LOTS has been done on the wedding front since December. LOTS!
XOXO
Seth and I had a really good day today. We truly took the time to enjoy eachother's company and did things each of us like. We did some things he liked (went to Summitt) some things I liked (looked at LB) and some things we both like (History Channel! lol). I forget sometimes that we DO have things in common because we have such differing tastes and preferences on the base scale.
A good example of this would be his love and obsession with cars. I do not share it. I think cars are nice, I think some cars are awesome, but I do not feel the need to know what a Cam is or what bearings are or know WHY. He does. On a similar note, I enjoy reading just as much as he enjoys cars. It isn't as obvious or in-your-face as his car obsession, but it's true to those that know me. He doesn't like books or even understand that you don't interrupt when I'm in the middle of a juicy Janet Evanovich. He IS starting to notice my favorite authors though. ;-) But see, here is what I am getting at. THERE ARE things we both enjoy.
Things we both enjoy:
1. Board Games of ANY variety. Not joking here at all.
2. History Channel, National Geographic, Planet Earth, GPB - anything exploratory really. We're obsessed. We joked that if we got a DVR it would be full of GPB and History Channel and we'd just watch for hours.
3. Doggies! We don't always agree on how to "parent," but we love them to pieces.
4. Getting things done - we both enjoy finishing home projects like organizing the garage last weekend.
5. Food - I know, I know. We're fatties. But we do both enjoy a good meal.
6. Jokes - We both laugh at the dumbest things sometimes. :-)
7. Criminal/Crime shows - Law & Order CI or SVU in particular. Also, we're both excited for Alcatraz to come on tomorrow night.
8. Sleeping. We are both big fans of sleep. Does that count? I guess it does.
9. Music, in general. Sure he listens to his a lot louder than I do and he is a little more rock, while I'm a little more country...but we both LIKE it. If we could just get the volume on the right setting....... ;-)
Now I don't want to go on and on about things we both enjoy or don't enjoy, but I just wanted this to be here to remind myself that we DO have some common interests. More than we tend to remember when we are frustrated with eachother.
Funny thing I wanted to note: We were having this big discussion since, you know, we're getting married in 47 DAYS!!!! We were talking about the future and he said, "You know, I could never hate you. Even if we end up divorced, I know you too well to hate you." It made me smile. I feel the same way. We can be angry at eachother but I think we would cool down pretty quickly, even if God forbid we ended up in that situation. We have a base respect for one another that neither of us always remember, but it's there.
------
On a similar note, I am super happy with where everything is in my life. It isn't perfect, not even close, but I'm happy with my non-dramatic and actually quite amazing friendships and I'm actually happy with my job and with what I want to do with my life. Which by the way, blog, I think I have finally decided upon! I'll save that for another day.
Jackie and I had a long discussion today and basically came to the conclusion that we are two of the only sane women in relationships in our circle. Not really, but it feels that way sometimes with some of our friends. We both handle our relationships pretty similarly (call it a no-holds-barred approach, or just call it honesty, that's what it is.) We agree on how to handle a lot of things and don't see how others just don't GET it. We should honestly be couples counselors. If only people would LISTEN! ;-)
Also? I love that me, Jackie and Heather are all obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio/Titanic. <3 As we should be. The man is beautiful and talented. TITANIC 3D in April!!! When Jackie gets back from an AMAZING trip to England!
Speaking of amazing things.... you know, I know myself as someone with jealous tendencies in a lot of cases. However, I've never been so unconditionally happy for two people/situations in my life right now. I am SO happy and excited for Jackie going to England! It is an incredible opportunity for her and an amazing trip! I also love that I don't find myself being envious or jealous, just HAPPY and excited! I think I'm finally getting out of my funk! haha. Also I am so happy for Catherine's pregnancy! (She isn't announcing yet, I don't think, so I won't say which Catherine.) I think they both deserve these things so much! The second one may be particularly odd given my "fertility status," but honestly I was grinning from ear-to-ear when she told me. I even shocked myself with that reaction. It's sad I know, but I have been/am jealous of some other people's pregnancies...especially if they weren't trying. But I feel like it's only human when you want something so badly and on such a base level. I'm happy with that. I'm happy that I still have the capacity to be happy when others get babies. It makes me feel content and human again. <3
That's all for now, blog. Sorry I've neglected you so this year. Trust me, LOTS has been done on the wedding front since December. LOTS!
XOXO
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