Whatever kind of day

Okay, so here we go. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about today. Class was realllllyyyyy boring. Okay, correction, I was just REALLY BORED, it wasn't "boring" necessarily. I normally find all of my classes interesting, but today I just was NOT into it at all. It was just ridiculous how long the day seemed to be taking. I woke up a little late for me today - 11:10 instead of 10:40 so I had time to shower, I just didn't have time to dry my hair.... So. I went to class with it still slightly wet. Being outside took care of a lot of that issue - but it dried kind of wavy. It was actually sort of cute-ish. I'm putting a picture up just because it was kind of cute and different, though I do prefer/feel more comfortable when my hair is straight. Ha - maybe that is a control issue of mine! It probably is.


Oh, here is a really random picture that I actually took on Sunday. Sunday Seth and I were going stir-crazy being in the apartment so we drove to Douglasville for dinner (more choices anyways - I love not being a "real adult" with a family, haha, because we can go somewhere nice every once in a while and NOT break the bank. We went to Olive Garden - which my parents would be like ooooh spending a lot of money...but really it costs us probably $5 more to go to Olive Garden than it does to go somewhere like IHOP or Applebee's. Let me put it this way. PLUS TIP, it cost like $32. And that's a $4-$5 tip.. Anyways. The picture was one of those fluke pictures where the camera wasn't pointing the right way and it ended up showing us both perfectly.... kinda cute, but awkward and goofy at the same time. :D CHEEESSSEEEEEE.

Anyways. I need to go do some schoolwork and whatnot and play hide-n-seek with the puppies so they'll quit acting crazy. Goobers.

52 Fights Quotes

This is really for Saturday...since I haven't gone to sleep yet. I'm getting sick. I dislike being sick. :/

Anyways, I want these on here for several reasons. The place I got them from is the book I am reading. There is a quote like this in the beginning of every chapter and here are some of my favorites. (There are lots of short chapters. I think 55.)

"Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over anothers sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance." 1 Corinthians 13

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." - William James

"One falsehood spoils a thousand truths." - Ashanti

"Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break." - Jane Wells

"The worse reconciliation is better than the best divorce." - Cervantes

"Marriage is one long conversation, checkered with disputes." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry." - Anton Chekhov

"Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses." - Lord Dewar

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it." - Edith Wharton

"It is not who is right, but WHAT is right, that is important." - Thomas Huxley

"If two people who love each other let a single moment come between them, it will grow and it will become a month, a year, a century until it becomes too late." - Jean Giraudoux

52 Fights and One of my own

I'm reading this really awesome book. Honestly, most people probably wouldn't consider it awesome because it seems juvenile, maybe, or irrelevant to some. It's called "52 Fights." The book is about a couple's first year living together, dealing with the changes, and all of the fights and thoughts about the fights and reflection on the fights. It's psychological, without being preachy at all. It's just this woman's open, honest account of her fights that every couple goes through. And it's helping me. Now, see, the problem is that it is ONLY helping me. It's helping me to realize why things happen and how I want to deal with them, but when I DO that, it just gets thrown back in my face. Now this does not only apply to me and Seth, it applies to a lot of my relationships. Granted, it does apply to Seth and I. We do fight, we argue, we disagree, we don't see eye to eye, but in the end we both want the same thing. That is what I am getting out of this book - that that is okay and it happens in most couples that are honest with their feelings and it's OK and it WILL work out if you work at it. That gives me hope.


How this relates to my other relationships is this - I don't know if my mother reads this blog, but here we go. I texted her last night with my (I thought) good/cool news - I wanted to get my tattoo today. Instead I get back a series of texts saying I am too broke to get a tattoo, I'm not thinking it through, and I am making a "poor decision." I don't think my mother realizes that my tattoo will only cost maybe $40. That's not that much money, whether you are broke or not. She claims it only has to do with money - so I assume that as soon as I get a job and pay for my own stuff she won't have an issue.. No, now it's just a "poor decision." My goodness, I really felt so judged. I have wanted this tattoo (this particular one, in this particular area, on this particular foot) literally for three years. It is NOT an impulse. It has been thought out - A LOT. And I finally decide that I'm ready - and I'm shut down. Because I am still in that uncomfortable place where my mother and father help me out financially. So this has turned into dictation over the way the money is used? But only when they feel I am using it irresponsibly. The concept just irritates me. Honestly, it just does. It comes across as pushy and controlling and judgmental. And I do not do well with any of those emotions being directed at me when I am also sometimes called "so mature." Why does it become mature when you agree with it and immature and impulsive when it's a disagreed upon thing? I feel like I'm being told to Be my parents and that's impossible. I want to be me. If me is someone with a really awesome tattoo on her foot, so be it, that will be me.


I appreciate their help IMMENSELY - but I don't like the control factor. Loan companies don't control how you spend their money. Why is family trying to be more controlling than a corporation?? It's just a point, and this is mainly just frustration/anger/irritation, but it is still how I feel somewhat. Why does it matter how I spend my "allowance?" And why did no one tell me that they were going to be like this BEFORE they told me they would help me out financially through college? Not really. Not when it's a choice that I am the only one that has to deal with it. Not when it's control over things. I don't know how to deal with this. I usually don't know how to deal with it because I get too emotional in the heat of the moment. I am not spoiled. Spoiled is a girl who has never worked a day in her life (not me) who has never had to help out her family (not me) who drives a super nice car (by super nice I mean a BMW, Mercedes, etc) and who does not take into consideration anyone else (also not me.) Someone who doesn't work hard at what they're doing (not me) and someone who is immature (again, not me, usually). So......... I'll leave it at that. I am just a 20-year old woman who is comfortable with a decision that cannot be carried out until I have a job.... Awkward.

I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm grumpy, and I'm ready to veg out with my puppies and my boyfriend and the TV. I need to reflect. And if I re-read this tomorrow and realize I sound ridiculous I'll take it down - and, more than likely, I'll leave it so I don't censor myself. It's my blog, at the very least. It's free. ;) And I kind of want to remember how I felt about this instead of it being fuzzy in my memory. Gosh I love blogging sometimes. It's like therapy.

BYE BLOGGERS

CRAZY PICTURES and Awesomely Sweet Song (Contradiciton?)

Oooh, so much going on! Not really, but in my head there is! haha.

I have a new Rascal Flatts song that I ADORE! I had kind of forgotten about them since they faded away in all the new country singer-stuff, but this song just spoke to me when I heard it on the radio for the first time. It's called "Why Wait." If you're in love... you should go listen to it! haha. It'll at least make you smile. :D

"The stars can't line up any straighter
Let's do it now and think about it later

Why wait another minute
For somethin' we should'a done yesterday?"

On a completely opposite note, like complete 180, here is a recap of my day! My FRIDAY I mean.
Got up this morning fully intending that we were going to Friday Night Drags at AMS with a big group of people, however, a bunch of people couldn't make it for one reason or another and it ended up being me, Seth, Shane, Heather and Chris. So we go down to AMS and after we're there for a few mins it starts POURING down rain. It was cool though because we could SEE it coming! haha.

So when we left, we went and got something to eat, and then this totally weird/cool experience happened! We are driving and the lightning is INSANE! I have NEVER seen lightning in this magnitude ever in my whole life. It was constant - at least 5 or 6 times a MINUTE! So we recorded it on my camera in several-minute-long sessions and it was SO cool because I went back and in Picasa I took freeze-frames of some of the coolest moments. SEE BELOW! We literally saw Lightning strike the McDonough courthouse...... AND caught it on camera, because we're badass like that. haha. Here are a few of the MOST awesome freeze frames. I'm going to try and upload the whole video later if I can figure that out tomorrow, but seriously this one on the courthouse is pretty freaking awesomely fantastic. We captured some cool shots with my little camera recorder. :) ((BTW, remember if you click on images in blogs they enlarge))

Today

Today...
Today has been rather boring, but not as boring as Sunday. :p

Went to class from 2:00 - 2:50 and met up with Seth. We came back to the apt and got the doggies ready and met up with Elea & Derek on the Square where we walked the dogs! We came back here and Seth went to school and now I'm bored! I watched Secret Life and now watching HUGE by accident. I didn't mean to watch this show, it just happened, and now I'm slowly getting sucked in. Realized Seth & I were right - it IS Hayley Hasselhoff in this show. Apparently it was her and Nikki Blonsky's idea! Yeah. We saw her last night on the Roast - btw, it's really funny. "When alcohol does it's taxes, it lists you as a dependent." - Greg Giraldo. Now the doggies are passed out and have been for the majority of the night - it's kind of funny. One really long walk and they can sleep for hours. Maybe we should take them on THREE walks a day! haha.

This weekend we are trying to make some plans and whatnot. See how all that goes. I'm really just bored and already don't want to read for all of these classes - not to mention I have no idea how to read the stuff for Law & Society. There was a sentence that was several lines long with lots of commas and it seemed like it NEVER ended and kept going in 1,000 different directions. I hope not all of the readings for class are like this...... I'll go crazy! And feel really stupid! How can you be a Senior in college and not be able to read?! Well. When it looks like this.... haha

That's really it. No cool picture, no revelation, nothing funny!

The REAL Me

This is me. The me without makeup, the me that hasn't gotten "dolled up" yet. The me that I see always, whether I'm wearing makeup and have my hair done or not - this is as real as it gets. There is a point to this blog and I am finally comfortable with this - so many people would be so proud of me for this! It's shocking. Feel free to pick up your jaws Seth & Hannah. I really did post a picture with no makeup on! Two actually!


This is the real me. I decided to take a picture of myself without any make up and without my hair dry and just be RAW. I have not taken a picture of myself without make up and not been repulsed in a very long time. There are all kinds of issues behind that - trust, body image, self-worth. But right now, at this point in my life, is the time I want to work on these issues. Am I "thin?" No. Am I "gorgeous?" No. But I am me. I know that I have features that are "pretty" but overall I feel like I have to enhance or have to change or have to work on these things - but why?

So because I wrote the blog "Dear Past Me" I want to do this one....

Dear Future Me:

Please always remember how you felt about things when you were younger. Never let life get in the way of living - "life" as in money, jobs, things to do, cleaning, kids' stuff. Always take a day for yourself once a month (or even once a week!) and watch shows you like, take bubble baths, read good books, and be nice! ;) Never forget why you are who you are - I'm sure that I will have changed by this time, but there will always be this time in my life - this crazy time where we are making it living off of nothing and my babies are my dogs (not that that will change - I will just add human babies! haha) I don't ever want to overwhelm myself with mundane things like I see so many people do and have a tendency towards myself now. I wish for my future self that I let myself enjoy it when I have what I want NOW. When we are stable money-wise and married and whatnot, when life is what I dream of right now, I really hope I appreciate it and appreciate myself for what I HAVE done and not what I HAVEN'T done! Dear Future Me: You are beautiful and different; interesting and unique; fabulous and intelligent and always always caring. Life is scary and money-woes are scary - but don't ever live scared. Love yourself and Love others; and let yourself feel.

Love, Current Me.

REALLY Random

So these are some "old" pictures that I never texted to my email before! haha. I decided to send them to myself today after I pulled the motorcycle pic off my phone. lol. I played around with one of the pictures I took. It's amazing how different pictures can look based on extremely simple effects in Picasa! The first one is when I put shadows and a tint on the picture. The other is when I just put the tint on it. And it looks crazy different! Btw. I think my cheekbones look amazing! hahaha.


These are from when I got my nails done in June. A bit old.... yeah, I know. But they were really cute!


That's it really. I changed my schedule so I don't have to take yucky Tests & Measurements anymore!! Instead I'm taking a Research Practicum with one of my favorite Crim teachers.