Loss Scrapbook

So I found a project that I did in December of 2008. It was for a class called Personal Relationships (a low-level Psychology class.) It was interesting to find it again, especially as tomorrow is my Papa's birthday. He would have been 81.

I wanted to share what I wrote, but I didn't want to photo copy it on here.

The first page has pictures of me and my "am-mama."
Loss of a Loved One
I hadn't lost anyone close to me since my Grandma in 1994.
I wrote, "I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon."

Next:
Loss of my belief in Happily Ever After.
"I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it's place."
Complete with a picture of me in my dress-up wedding dress. :-)

Loss of Optimism
"I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't."

Loss of my ability to Trust Unconditionally.
"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that forgiving takes practice."
Complete with pictures of me and my Dad when I was little.

Loss of Childhood Naivete.
"I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different."

Loss of my belief in Santa Claus. (on a lighter note, Lol)
"I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score."

Loss of Childhood
"I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be."
There is an eerie picture of a past birthday party, with empty table. Almost as if those of us there CHOSE to leave.

Loss of my Musical Ability ;-) (again, lighter)
"Those who wish to sing, always find a song." -- Swedish Proverb

My note that says, How to get through them all:
Our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Corinthians 4:17.

Finally, "I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they DO about it."


After finding it today, I've started adding to it.

Loss of Stability/Loss of the Only Man to ALWAYS Be There.
These cherished memories that you hold will never be lost, for what you carry in your heart is yours to keep forever. <3

Also added:
Loss of Faith in things "Always Working Out."
Surgery 11.21.11. PCOS/Endo.

Still a work in progress.

I feel human! And HAPPY!

Can I just say how thankful I am for my life and the people in it? I don't want to go all mushy, but we'll see where my writing leads me today.

Seth and I had a really good day today. We truly took the time to enjoy eachother's company and did things each of us like. We did some things he liked (went to Summitt) some things I liked (looked at LB) and some things we both like (History Channel! lol). I forget sometimes that we DO have things in common because we have such differing tastes and preferences on the base scale.

A good example of this would be his love and obsession with cars. I do not share it. I think cars are nice, I think some cars are awesome, but I do not feel the need to know what a Cam is or what bearings are or know WHY. He does. On a similar note, I enjoy reading just as much as he enjoys cars. It isn't as obvious or in-your-face as his car obsession, but it's true to those that know me. He doesn't like books or even understand that you don't interrupt when I'm in the middle of a juicy Janet Evanovich. He IS starting to notice my favorite authors though. ;-) But see, here is what I am getting at. THERE ARE things we both enjoy.

Things we both enjoy:
1. Board Games of ANY variety. Not joking here at all.
2. History Channel, National Geographic, Planet Earth, GPB - anything exploratory really. We're obsessed. We joked that if we got a DVR it would be full of GPB and History Channel and we'd just watch for hours.
3. Doggies! We don't always agree on how to "parent," but we love them to pieces.
4. Getting things done - we both enjoy finishing home projects like organizing the garage last weekend.
5. Food - I know, I know. We're fatties. But we do both enjoy a good meal.
6. Jokes - We both laugh at the dumbest things sometimes. :-)
7. Criminal/Crime shows - Law & Order CI or SVU in particular. Also, we're both excited for Alcatraz to come on tomorrow night.
8. Sleeping. We are both big fans of sleep. Does that count? I guess it does.
9. Music, in general. Sure he listens to his a lot louder than I do and he is a little more rock, while I'm a little more country...but we both LIKE it. If we could just get the volume on the right setting....... ;-)

Now I don't want to go on and on about things we both enjoy or don't enjoy, but I just wanted this to be here to remind myself that we DO have some common interests. More than we tend to remember when we are frustrated with eachother.

Funny thing I wanted to note: We were having this big discussion since, you know, we're getting married in 47 DAYS!!!! We were talking about the future and he said, "You know, I could never hate you. Even if we end up divorced, I know you too well to hate you." It made me smile. I feel the same way. We can be angry at eachother but I think we would cool down pretty quickly, even if God forbid we ended up in that situation. We have a base respect for one another that neither of us always remember, but it's there.

------
On a similar note, I am super happy with where everything is in my life. It isn't perfect, not even close, but I'm happy with my non-dramatic and actually quite amazing friendships and I'm actually happy with my job and with what I want to do with my life. Which by the way, blog, I think I have finally decided upon! I'll save that for another day.

Jackie and I had a long discussion today and basically came to the conclusion that we are two of the only sane women in relationships in our circle. Not really, but it feels that way sometimes with some of our friends. We both handle our relationships pretty similarly (call it a no-holds-barred approach, or just call it honesty, that's what it is.) We agree on how to handle a lot of things and don't see how others just don't GET it. We should honestly be couples counselors. If only people would LISTEN! ;-)

Also? I love that me, Jackie and Heather are all obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio/Titanic. <3 As we should be. The man is beautiful and talented. TITANIC 3D in April!!! When Jackie gets back from an AMAZING trip to England!

Speaking of amazing things.... you know, I know myself as someone with jealous tendencies in a lot of cases. However, I've never been so unconditionally happy for two people/situations in my life right now. I am SO happy and excited for Jackie going to England! It is an incredible opportunity for her and an amazing trip! I also love that I don't find myself being envious or jealous, just HAPPY and excited! I think I'm finally getting out of my funk! haha. Also I am so happy for Catherine's pregnancy! (She isn't announcing yet, I don't think, so I won't say which Catherine.) I think they both deserve these things so much! The second one may be particularly odd given my "fertility status," but honestly I was grinning from ear-to-ear when she told me. I even shocked myself with that reaction. It's sad I know, but I have been/am jealous of some other people's pregnancies...especially if they weren't trying. But I feel like it's only human when you want something so badly and on such a base level. I'm happy with that. I'm happy that I still have the capacity to be happy when others get babies. It makes me feel content and human again. <3

That's all for now, blog. Sorry I've neglected you so this year. Trust me, LOTS has been done on the wedding front since December. LOTS!

XOXO

You know you're getting old...

When you have a game night with your fiance, your two brothers, your future brother in law, and your most likely future sister in law.
Lol.

Great part? I totally enjoyed it. :-) It's becoming quite fun. We play some sort of board game every once in a while. Seth cooked hamburgers and we had burgers and chips. So low-key. :-D I don't know what I'm going to do when Will can't come next year! Sad. And weird.

There really is no point to this post, I'm just bored and was tired of the Bee. I'm trying to look for places to have our "Mini-Moon" after the wedding and so far I'm striking out. I know I will find us something to do, but my brain is just not into it at the moment. Lol.

The Holidays

So, the holidays were a little bit different this year. With the absence of my Papa, that is to be expected. There were some brief sad moments, but mostly it was happy. I am so blessed to have the family that I still have, and I love them more than anything.

We also did what I'm now calling my "last big good deed" of the year. On Friday there was a lost dog that almost got hit by a car. Another lady and I stopped and tried to find her owners, but the only tag she had on was a rabies tag. Well, the vet's office was closed from last Thursday until today at 2 pm. She was a sweetheart and looked kind of like Chevy. I couldn't just leave her there to get hit by a car. She stayed one night at my Nanny's house before her b*tch neighbor complained. Then the next couple of nights she stayed at our house. She did fairly well, and by today she, Lucy & Chevy were buddies. I have a video of the three of them laying in the living room.

Once I got in contact with the vets office today, it was less than an hour before her owners called and set up a time to meet and get her back. :) Her name was Honey, and she was sweet as pie. I know that sounds cheesy, but she was. Apparently she was 9 years old. I just did it because...I would want someone to do that if Lucy or Chevy got out and were lost/in danger.

So that changed our holiday times, because we had that to deal with...and honestly? I don't regret it a bit. I didn't really WANT to focus on the holidays because I didn't want to fall apart. So instead I focused my emotional energy on her and on the dogs. It helped, I think. And now she is safe and sound with her family.

Other than that...Christmas was pretty amazing. Mom gave us money for our new tub! And Nanny gifted us (and the doggies) a fence! How blessed we really are. Now to find the time and energy to get those big ol' projects done. :-D I will definitely blog our DIY Home Improvement projects. We also got all kinds of other amazing gifts, ranging from gift cards and money, toilet paper and toiletries, and decorative platters and lamps. Oh, and chocolate and tools for Seth. :p Just an overall good Christmas.

No pictures as of yet, I'm sure most of them are gross anyway. Lol.

Our Timeline :-)

So I know it may seem rather ambitious, but I saw this idea on another blog. The couple posted their "couple timeline" that documented their milestones together, so far. This may take me a few days to get completely put together, but I wanted to go ahead and start it. :-)

Seth & Amelia's Timeline

2008

February - June: I graduate high school 6 months early and get a full-time job at a shipping company. Seth is working at Charter.

June - We meet at work. That's a story for another blog.

June 15, 2008: You may call it a random Sunday, Father's Day, the last race Dale, Jr won, Seth's 20th birthday (yep)...or our first date. :-) We went to Applebee's in Stockbridge. We were both nervous as all hell.

This is our first picture together, taken at my very first introduction to "Friday Night Drags." We were hot and sweaty...and look like babies!

June - August: We happily remain mostly in our "honeymoon stage" where we want to be together all the time and get in trouble for staying out too late or talking on the phone until 3 am when we both have to work the next day.

August - I leave for college at UWG.
August - March (09): We are long distance, visiting eachother fairly often (maybe twice a month?) and attempting to make it work from 2-ish hours apart.

December: I realize I want to marry this man. Here's part of why: Ava was brought home from China in December of 2008, so yes, technically I have known my fiance longer than my sister. He was SO good with her, so patient and sweet. And I remember this quote he said to me while I was playing with her at 3 am before she adjusted to US time, "You're going to make such a good Mom one day." Spoke to my heart.

2009

April: We officially move in together after Seth decides he wants to go back to school at WGTC. :-) This is us in our first apartment - a tiny loft, that we loved only because we were together.

Yep, it did look like that. Very few walls, only one ceiling. It was kind of cool, but you'll see what happened, just keep reading.

 June: We move unexpectedly down the hall, into a bigger apartment because our first one...had been pre-booked unbeknownst to us. So they said, "You can have another bigger one for the same rate." We said sure...not thinking about how this would affect our air conditioning issues.
We have our birthdays together that year 19 (me) and 21 (Seth.)

This was taken at "our" birthday party. :-) June 2009

June - September: We stay in the current apartment (apt number 2) but are getting overwhelmed by the power bills and broken AC unit issues. Summer in Georgia in a huge loft that faces the sun...with a broken AC? Hell. No joke. We decide to move into what we refer to as our "long-term apartment." Note: We stayed there for 2 years. So no, we didn't move ALLLLL the time. ;-)
September - After moving into our apartment (not a loft this time, it had carpet and two bathrooms and real rooms and such!) We decide we need some company, especially since our schedules were total opposites. I had school in the mornings/early afternoons and Seth was in school from 5-10 pm. Soooo, September, we bring home Lucy! Our first cuddlebug!

Isn't she just aaaaaahhhhdorable? It was love at first sight. Lucy is now 2.5 years old! Eek!

September - December: We adjust to life with a puppy, lol. Still schooling it up.
Mid-December: We decide Lucy needs a playmate! We think we're insane (we were) to try and take on having 2 puppies, but our hearts knew it was right. So, we went back to the same shelter we adopted Lucy from and brought home THIS lover-boy. :-) Chevy. Which yes, in case you were wondering, Seth did name.

Mr. Chevy, the day we brought his cute butt home. :-) He is now 2 years and some change! Jeez.

December 2009 - There is also a huge turning point in our relationship; Seth's grandfather Henry passes away after a tough battle on Christmas Day 2009. We really had to struggle at this point. We had been through a lot together but nothing of this magnitude. It was one of those "make it or break it" tests.
 
2010
 
January - June: The beginning of the year was pretty grueling. I had just begun truly working in my major, as had Seth. Seth quit his job during his grandfather's hospital stays, money was tight. But we somehow made it through those times, though if you ask me how I couldn't explain it.
March - We did go on one of the best trips we'd gone on at this point. We went to Savannah, GA, which meant we got to bring our puppies with us!
 

Here we are on River Street with our loves. :-) This is one of my favorite pictures.

June 2010: Our 2-year anniversary. For some reason this year it was a pretty big deal. I think we finally felt "official." Like a couple that meant business or something?
Randomly: 2010 was also "the year of trips" for us. We went to Savannah, seen above, for Spring Break. We went to Charleston, SC, in June with my Dad, Step-Mom, and brothers. And then in July we went to Disney/Universal Studios with my Mommy, Step-Dad, brothers, and sister. We truly were blessed to have such awesome family take us places! We love to travel - were just broke!
October: We went to our first wedding together. This, to me, might have been a pretty big turning point. We'd been together almost 2.5 years, had been living together for about 1.5 and had the future on the brain since we would both be finishing college in 2011.
November - December: Nothing really happened, per se, we just kept on keeping on. ;-)
 
2011
 
January: I started my very last semester of college - Oh my goodness! I was a Senior in the Psychology program. Stressed but happy. I did finish my 4-year degree in 3 years after all, so I was quite stressed.
March 12, 2011: We had been together EXACTLY 1000 days. We went to a park that we both loved walking the dogs at one seemingly random Saturday. We got to our favorite bridge and Seth pops out this GORGEOUS ring after talking about how much he cares about me, how he sees our future, and he goes, "So, will you?" I say, "Will I what?" He says, "Marry me?" I say, "Oh! Yeah, sure." I know...super romantic. ;-) So, after 1000 days (which btw is about 2 years and 9 months) We are engaged!!
 

Isn't she a stunner? LOVE my ring.

April: I'm stressed to the moon and back because this is my last month on college! Holy cow!
May 7: I graduate from college; my family and fiance(!) are there to celebrate with me. :-) I felt like the luckiest girl the whole day.

Yay - Lucky to be surrounded by these awesome people!

June: We have our 3-year anniversary, our 21st and 23rd birthdays, and prepare for a trip to the Lake with my family. And we begin to try and plan our wedding, finally. :-) We took engagement pictures and sent out Save the Dates this month. :-)
July: We go to the Lake, enjoy July 4th and our first time together on a boat (other than, ya know, a ferry) and overall just have a relaxing week. We go back and Seth starts to finish up HIS last quarter of college! I was so proud.
August: We realize that we won't be staying in good ol' Carrollton forever, so we start to search for our first HOUSE together. Yes, it's way different than apartment searches. I had made the decision to go to Grady, so we had that in mind. We also were location-snobs. Good proximity to family, good schools, nice neighborhood. Whaddya know? We found it!

Isn't it cute? 3 bedroom 2.5 bathroom Cape Cod style home on a little over a .5 acre lot. LOVE.

August 20: We moved into our fabulous home that we wouldn't have without the generosity and selflessness of my grandparents. <3 I am in love with our house.
September: I go to Grady for approximately 2.5 weeks before realizing...that isn't at all what I want to do with my life. Meanwhile, Seth is finishing his degree! He finishes his classes, but Graduation (the ceremony) isn't until January. He loves his job at Napa Autoparts.
November: I am iffy on November. November was huge in both hugely good and hugely bad ways. It started off not so great...I'm going to focus in on it because, well...it was huge.
November 1: My Papa had a massive heart attack and passed away. He was 80 years old and I miss him every day. I always will. And now, I hate that I can say I understand what Seth was going through.
November 17: Seth started his first "job with his degree" at Bellamy Strickland Chevrolet. He LOVES it and is so excited.
November 21: I had a Laparoscopic surgery that mainly says I have fertility issues and we need to try soon if we want babehs.
December: So far, so okay. Next stop: 2012 and getting married!!!

Most Powerful/Memorable Moments of My 2011

So a fellow 'Bee posted this link earlier today: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-most-powerful-photos-of-2011 . The photos range from incredibly sweet/amazing to incredibly disturbing and awful, but they do in fact sum up the year 2011 for our country. In particular, the one with the older lady that got pepper sprayed was absolutely AWFUL. I cannot even stand those.

However, reading that article and seeing those pictures sparked a good idea for me! I know 2011 isn't over yet (and maybe something else will happen this month?) But I want to do MY 2011. I'm sure I'll do a similar more specific post about how incredible 2011 has been for me nearer to New Years but I want to mimic the article but base it on MY life. My life has changed a lot since last year and whatever, I think it's a good idea. :) Obviously I don't have 45 different things but... Here you go.

The 5 Most Powerful Moments of My 2011 (in order from earliest this year to most recent).

1. March 12, 2011 - We got Engaged! At John Tanner State Park, with a gorgeous ring, on our "1000th day together."

2. May 7, 2011 - I graduated from college! I got my Undergraduate degree exactly one year earlier than others. :) *teehee* My BA in Psychology from University of West Georgia. Well-deserved, that one.

3. August 2011 - We got our first house!! Thanks to my absolutely amazing Nanny and Papa. XO. We love it and are so happy!

4. November 1, 2011 - I lost the most important man that helped raise me. My Papa was 80 years young when he passed away. I miss him every day; I still haven't really comprehended it.

5. I don't have a physical picture to show for this one, but my number 5 life-changer this year was my surgery on November 21, 2011. I found out many things that are not great but I found my faith in my choices.

THREE MONTHS!!!

We're getting married exactly THREE MONTHS FROM TODAY!!!! (Saturday) Can you believe it?! I am so excited and ready...also really nervous. Not about the wedding but about getting everything done! Lol.

So here is a wedding update - I haven't posted anything in quite a while!

We got our Invitations in the mail last week! They look really good. Parts of them are a little off the color I was going for, but the ribbon is perfect. Plus, most people will throw them away pretty quickly anyways. Haha. And I didn't pay a million dollars for them either! Got them off 123print.com. Me, Mom and Jackie (and probably Nanny) will be addressing them over Christmas break! Eeek! They'll be out in mid-January.

I also ordered my AMAZING bouquet from bluepetyl.com today. I am in LOVE with it, it's going to look so fantastic! And I can keep it forever! Maybe my future daughter (or daughter in law) will want to use it. <3

We went in Septemer and did our cake tasting with The Cake House & More and chose the most DELICIOUS flavor you can imagine - White Chocolate. Ooh my, my do I love it. We haven't sent them a finalized vision/picture but I'm working on it! Here is us tasting our cake (photo courtesy of Tabitha):

A few things have changed since I've updated but I am rather happy about the changes. :) Everything seemed to fall into place. Life always seems to.

Also - met with our caterer and there are some DELICIOUS things on the menu!! MmMmm. Really excited, as you can tell by the upbeat quality of this post. :) I'm smiling while writing it. haha. Love my life sometimes, so glad for the happy moods.